rebuilding the temple - week 2: hit me with your best shot...

... because I have dairy, bitch.

Lost (Week 2): 0 lbs.
Lost (Total) : 2 lbs. 

See this?

It's a very small block (0.75 inch cubed) of Wensleydale cheese.  I took a picture of it because as soon as I finish this post, I will be eating it.  I plan to look at the picture and remember how tasty it was after it's gone.

No, that's not weird.  Really, it's not.  Really.

You see, folks, it's that time.  And I've learned that during this incredibly powerful time in a woman's month, I should not deny myself anything, especially foods on my "Don't" list.  Otherwise, all and sundry will learn just how powerful I truly am.  Seriously, asses will be kicked if I don't get my pavlova the second after I deem I should have one.

Great.  Now I want one.
But seriously, I've even eaten bread.  Oh, the horror!

Anyway, I've been doing just that these past few days, and It's worked for my mental state.  And you know, I've not gained any weight.  (I've not lost any either, but I didn't expect to anyway.)

What I'll be doing this week:

- weights and hula... I couldn't do this last week because I spent most of my time in the fetal position on my couch.  Advil was my secret lover.
- no snacking... This is working.  I'm not even all that hungry during the times I'd normally snack.  It's unreal.
- drink only water and green tea... my body's been craving water a lot more lately.  I'm not even trying to drink more!  That too is unreal.
- no bread, dairy, pasta... Need to be more consistent with this.


It's Aloha Friday

+ on ice.
I made a spur-of-the-moment decision to take Mini to Disney on Ice.  Roomie thought I was nuts.  Mini isn't interested in stuff like that anymore, Nenette!  Um... what do y'all think?

+ aloha, playah.
My bff Miss T returned from 2 week trip to Hawai'i.  She brought back some lovely gifts for us: a little purse for me, poi for Roomie and me, and necklaces for the kids, which they wear every day and won't take off even for this pic. 

+ s'mores.
Kids wanted s'mores.  Didn't have graham wafers.  Still really good though.

+ sci-fi'd.
I'm becoming more and more obsessed with "V".  Good thing, since one of my current faves -- Stargate: Universe -- has been canceledBoo.  :(
{image from}

+ pork chops.
Yummy.  Even my kids think so.  You know, the ones who think me giving them new delicious food is a new and twisted form of torture.
It looks odd but tastes delish.  Here's how you make it.

things that make me go 'hmm... I want to stab things'.

A lot of stuff's been driving me to run screaming to the hills to eat a whole wheel of cheese to stab things to write a rude letter to frown for many minutes lately, so when my darling and gorgeous friend Loukia wrote this post, I thought "great idea! I'll do that too!"
Then my other darling and gorgeous friend Adam did it too.

So, this is me, being a lemming...

+ People who let their dogs pee in my yard near, you know, where my kids made their snowman!  Jeebus people!  Kids play there!  Use the damn boulevard as you dog toilet!

+ People who think using "I" instead of "me" makes them sound proper. As in:
Skydiving was an exhilarating experience for Dave and I.

Well, doofus, you and Dave should stay the hell away from me because I now want to neck punch both of you back to Grade 8 Grammar class, where I learned how to use "I" and "me" properly!
Hint:  Take out the other person.  In our above example, take out "Dave and".  Now tell me, does...

Skydiving was an exhilarating experience for I.

... sound proper to you?  Um, NO.

+ Drivers who don't completely change lane, so their ass is still in your lane, then s...l...o...w... d...o...w...n... so you can't drive past them.

+ People who talk loudly on their phone in public. Really, lady, the kids having their swim lesson at the other end of the pool didn't hear about your plantar warts.

+ Speaking of cell phones, people who use them -- chatting or texting -- whilst driving.

+ People who tell me "Oh, you're not fat; you don't need to lose weight!" and think they're being nice.  I'm a 41-year-old adult.  I know my body enough to know what I weight when I'm healthy and what I weight when I'm not.  You may not have a family history of hypertension/high-blood-pressure, but I do and staying less fatty than I am now is CRUCIAL!
You want to be nice?  Be supportive.

+ Parents who don't discipline their kids... especially when their kid's being a little shit to others.

+ Being forced to repeat myself.  Especially when you asked the question.  Pay attention.

+ Couples who have joint Facebook/email/etc. accounts.  What?  Your spouse doesn't trust you?

+ People who look over my shoulder and read my laptop screen without my permission.

+ People who buy huge vehicles and act like they own the road.  And act all smug because they own the big freakin' ridiculous vehicle.  Dude, it won't make up for the tiny dick, okay?!

+ People who LOVE winter and consider you a wimp if you don't.  My husband included.  I'm totally with Loukia!  Humans arose from AFRICA.  We are meant to walk around naked.

+ People who don't read.  And are actually proud of it too.

+ Iron-clad packaging with twist-ties, tape, rigid plastic, etc.  Especially on Littlest Pet Shop toys.  Do you people really want my kid to play with your toy or not?!

+ Stores that don't open up a new checkout even when the only cashier open is serving an insanely long line, the person paying is counting out pennies, and other staff is just standing around "looking busy".

Okay, that's it for me.  How about you?

thursday 13: and the lines go to...

Thanks to everyone who gave the thursday 13: doing lines a go!
 I chose these lines from movies I've enjoyed at one point or 'nother.  Especially Serenity.  ;)

Through this process, I learned a couple of things:
a) my readers have more of a life than me... you know, 'me' who watches movies over and over enough to remember bizarre obscure lines.
b) I like weird movies that smart people don't watch.  Except Serenity.  Smart people watch Serenity.

In case it wasn't clear, I love Serenity.

Okay, I'll shut my trap and get to the answers.  I'm sure some of them will surprise you.... if you didn't cheat and look it up, cheaty cheatersons.

1: Monty Python's Life of Brian.

2: Serenity.  (There were so many good lines to choose from this awesome flick.  I had a tough time deciding!)

3: Star Trek (2009).

4: Ishtar.

5: Futurama: Bender's Game.

6: Lost in Space (1998).

7: Cannonball Run.

8: 300.

9: The Wedding Planner.

10: When Harry Met Sally.

11: Dracula 2000.

12: Gentlemen Prefer Blondes.

13: Pride and Prejudice (2005).

The most that people got were 2, but there so many of them, so I had to do a thing on those folks.  The winner is:  Measi!

rebuilding the temple - week 1: hunger and NOT eating my children.

Lost: 2 lbs.  (I don't plan to measure my bodyfat until week 4.)

I did it.  For the whole week, I didn't snack.  I ate 3 complete meals per day.

And for the first 2 days, it was freakin' TORTURE!  Until I was forced to face it, I hadn't really realized how much I snacked, how much I was a slave to my "I'm feeling peckish"-ness.  The kids were starting to look like lovely little lamb chops.  It was close.

Really, just look how tasty cute these two look.  Okay, it's an old shot.  They're less plump and juicy loving toward each other these days.

But when my body would scream "I'M HUNGRY!", I'd scream back "Shut it!  You're not.  Here's some green tea, baby."  And you know, the green tea worked.  It was lovely.

The only thing I dropped the ball on was getting my workouts in.  I need to do some serious muscle-building, and I didn't do anything that remotely looked like muscle-building.  Maybe muscle-not-losing.  But that's it.

And now, I'm sick.  Thanks, Mini.  And I always gain weight when I get sick.  My appetite goes up not down.  But I will prevail.

What to do this week:
- no snacking.
- no dairy.
- no bread or pasta.
- weights/resistance workouts.
- hula/walks.
- intervals/yoga.

... pretty much same as last week.

It's Aloha Friday

This new weekly feature was totally swiped from Emily whose blog I totally adore. It's about the 5 notables I want to share with you that took place the previous week.

+ wanna muff?
I made banana muffins yesterday.  With brown sugar.  And I'm proud to say that I. HAVEN'T. HAD. ANY.  Yes, you may applaud now.  This is a big deal, darlings.  Especially since they look this yum.

+ sick mommy.
Mini's been sounding like Kathleen Turner lately.  Sick with the sniffles and a nasty cough.  She hates feeling like crap, but worse, she hates that she's not allowed to do anything but "stay on the couch and rest!".  So, she's happy that her little baby comes by to visit often.

+ ring.
It's been almost a year since I've been able to wear my wedding ring.  Sad.  My fingers are just too chunky.
Now, I've lost enough finger fat to wear my gold snake ring!  Love the gold.

+ in the doghouse.
The other day, I told Roomie that, when he sings The Police's "Roxanne", he doesn't really sound like Sting (hubbahubba)...

... but more like Mr. Hankey...

He was not amused.

+ wtf?
I've been thinking about Red Dwarf a LOT lately, then just today, Roomie found this video.
"Oh, Ace, I love you..." and your crocodile alligator too...

thursday 13: doing lines.

Can you name the movies these lines belong to?  Please let me know in the comments.   

Don't cheat and look it up, silly people! 

The one with the most correct just might get a prize.  I'll give the answers on Tuesday, so be sure to enter before then to win.

(Update: I gave you a hint. Over there ->)

Okay... go!

1: "Well, what are you doing creeping around a cow shed at two o'clock in the morning? That doesn't sound very wise to me."

2: "Goin' on a year now I ain't had nothin' twixt my nethers weren't run on batteries!"

3: "I'm impressed. For a moment there, I thought you were just a dumb hick who only has sex with farm animals."

4: "He says he will sell you a blind camel. He says he also knows of a camel with a crippled leg and no teeth. Would you like a dead camel?"

5: "Just knowing we're in the same genus makes me embarrassed to call myself homo."

6: "Why did the robot cross the road? Because he was carbon bonded to the chicken!"

7: "The two priests driving the Ferrari? Oh, they're doing the work of the Lord. In a Ferrari, they can just do it faster."

8: "It would take more than the words of a drunken adolescent girl to rob me of my desire of you."

9: "For an entire summer he followed me around asking me if I had a vagina!"

10: "A Sheldon can do your income taxes, if you need a root canal, Sheldon's your man... but humpin' and pumpin' is not Sheldon's strong suit. It's the name. 'Do it to me Sheldon, you're an animal Sheldon, ride me big Shel-don.' Doesn't work."

11: "You Brits like to sweet-talk and you Brits like to romance, and all I wanna do is suck."

12: "My line? My most effective one is to tell a girl she has hair like a tortured midnight, lips like a red couch in an ivory palace, that I'm lonely and starved for affection. Then, I generally burst into tears. It seldom works."

13: "I can't help thinking that at some point someone is going to produce a piglet and we'll all have to chase it."

(Wanna join the fun? Head over here.)

I need a favour. Or two. Maybe even three.

I know you love Life Candy, and I love you all for that.  Totally.  You're awesome!

Now, I'd love to know what your favourite LC posts are.  I'd like to freshen up my 'Best of'/'Fave Posts' page, you see, and I can't do it on my own.  If you need to check them out again, please feel free to check the Archives.

So, please let me know your top 1, 2, or 3 posts here in the comments, via email, or on Life Candy's FB page.

Thank you so much... I'll love you all for that too!

almost wordless: mini in a red dress.

Yes, those are high heels.  Her brother bought them for her for Christmas. 
For the love of Moses, she's 6!  {sigh}

oh, pretty. for me.

I'm all about the simple.  I don't usually like embellishments.  I like solid black or white shirts.  The only earrings I wear are 1/2 inch gold hoops.  Ever.  Even on special occasions.

But when I saw these on sale for $2.50 at one of my fave book stores, I had to get them and make my netbook all sweet and stuff.  Because I'm also all about the sales.

What do you think?  Pretty, eh?

rebuilding the temple - week 0: ready, set, .... oh, wait.

Weekly updates for my temple rebuild have been moved to Mondays from Fridays, but for this inaugural week, I'm updating on Sunday night.  :)

When starting a new project, I do either one of two things: (1) research and research and research... then lose steam and never actually do it, (2) jump in uninformed, half-assed... or whole-assed, depending on your POV.

The last time I did this, I did #2. (Heeheehee, "#2"... and once again, I'm a 12 year old boy.)

Really, read those links, and you'll see how scattered I was.  No plan.  No ideas.  No starting stats.  Nothing.

But not this time. 

So, now, I bare my soul and all the ugliness that surrounds and insulates it.  This is a MAJOR DEAL, my lovelies, because it's still February here in Canada, and I can just continue to pretend that I'm really hiding the body of Sofia Vergara under the parka and sweaters.

Seriously, can someone please make me look like her? []
But again, no.

So now I foolishly bravely share what I'm really hiding... and because showing a BEFORE picture of me after that picture of Sofia would be like slapping your face after baking you a cake (yes, that totally makes sense), I'm just giving you my metrics.

Deep breath... and go:

Height: 5' 3.5" - this likely won't change... although, I've thought for a long time that I'm 5'4", but before my surgery last year, I was measured to be half an inch shorter.  Good grief, I'm only 41!  Am I already shrinking?  On the WRONG AXIS?!  Nope, I'm not going to think about that.

Weight: 138 lbs. - I'd like to lose 18-20 pounds, but I'm more flexible with this because of, you know, muscle-mass, bodyfat, etc.  Before you get all judgy judgerson on me, remember I KNOW MY BODY and I'VE DONE MY RESEARCH.  I'm doing this to become healthy, not to endanger my life trying to reach some sort of "magazine ideal".

Bodyfat: 34% - not taken by calipers but calculated from here so it's not exact.  But holy crap, according to this chart, I'm obese.  Say WHAT?!  Anyway, I'm shooting for 21% bodyfat, which means I should come down to 120 pounds.  Sounds 'bout right.

Bust: 38 inches - it would be nice if I'm not a walking Russ Meyer movie... just down a cup size or two would be fine.

Waist: 38 inches - I'd like this to be less than my bust size at least... 25 inches ideally, but I'll take what I can get.

Bicep: 12 inches - I'd like to get rid of the wings.

Good grief, now I wonder why did I bold them all?!  I wanted to highlight them, but holy hannah, I might as well put up a neon sign that says: "LOOK AT ME!  I'M CHUNKY!!!"

So, let's get UN-chunky!

What I'm doing this week:

1: 3 meals/day - no snacking, no grazing, no 5/6 meals/day like the "experts" command.  they've all made me gain weight in the past.  I over-eat, and my blood sugar gets all wonky.
2: Zen tea only at Starbucks and water or green tea at home.
3: Avoid sugar.  no Treat Day for me.
4: Exercise - hot yoga (Wednesday/Sunday), weights (Thursday/Monday), and intervals/hula (Friday/Tuesday).
5: Continue to take greens+ and supplements.  I'll go into detail in  future post.

Okay, that's it for now.  Small changes.  Wish me luck!

31 movies.

I stole this from my lovely, perky, and rarely-sticky friend Adam. Like him, I'm doing it in one post rather than in 31 separate ones.  These were hard.  And my answers were surprising.

You do it too.  Then tell me where to find it so I can also read yours.

Okay, here's mine...

Day #1: Favorite Movie – When Harry Met Sally

Day #2: Least Favorite Movie – Krull.  (I loved this movie as a kid, then watched it again as an adult and wondered what the hell I was thinking!)

Day #3: Favorite Comedy – Monty Python & the Holy Grail. (Finally owning the DVD for this, and watching it with commentary, made it even better.)

Day #4: Favorite Adventure – Raiders of the Lost Ark. (I wanted to jump into the screen and do naughty things to Harrison Ford.  I still do.)

Day #5: Favorite Horror – Prince of Darkness. (This movie messed me up for days after.  Thanks, Roomie.)

Day #6: Favorite Suspense/Thriller – Sixth Sense

Day #7: Favorite Animated Movie – Futurama: Bender's Game

Day #8: Favorite Guilty Pleasure – 300. (I can watch my pretend boyfriend, and all his friends, in this movie over and over and over.)

Day #9: A Movie You Never Expected To Love – Brazil

Day #10: Biggest Let-Down – Van Helsing

Day #11: First Movie You Saw In Theaters – Star Wars

Day #12: The Last Movie You Saw In Theaters – Tangled

Day #13: Favorite Documentary – Supersize Me

Day #14: Favorite Satire – This is Spinal Tap

Day #15: A Movie With Your Favorite Actor – Dracula 2000. (The first movie I saw with my pretend boyfriend in it.  Sigh.)

Day #16: Favorite Movie Based On A Book – Lord of the Rings

Day #17: Favorite Movie With An Actor You Hate – Dogma.  (Love Jay & Silent Bob flicks!  Too bad Chris Rock was in it -- I'm sure he's very nice but he annoys me.)

Day #18: Movie You Can Watch On Loop – You've Got Mail.

Day #19: Favorite Movie Based On A Historical Event – The Sound of Music.

Day #20: Favorite Movie Based On A Historical Figure – Elizabeth

Day #21: Favorite Musical – Gentlemen Prefer Blondes

Day #22: Most Over-Rated Movie – Top Gun.

Day #23: Most Under-Rated Movie – Sneakers

Day #24: Movie With Best Soundtrack – The Matrix

Day #25: Favorite Black and White Movie – It's a Wonderful Life

Day #26: Cheesiest Horror Movie – Rocky Horror Picture Show (But OMG, I love it!)

Day #27: Favorite Oscar-Winning Movie – A Room with a View

Day #28: Favorite Made-For-Television Movie – Pride & Prejudice (Colin Firth). (What I said about Harrison Ford, ditto to Colin Firth.)

Day #29: Favorite Movie Based On A Television Series – Serenity. (Oh, Nathan Fillion... how yummy you are...)

Day #30: Favorite Re-Make – Pride & Prejudice (Keira Knightly)

Day #31: Favorite Sequel – Empire Strikes Back

rebuilding the temple 2011: top 10 things I can do without.

... Estrogen Dominance and Adrenal Fatigue...

According to my ND, Dr.C, that's what's been causing all my health issues.  Isn't she amazing?!  I'm glad I found her.  She's nothing like my ob/gyn, whose solutions were to scrape me out (unnecessarily), and if that didn't work, set my uterus on fire.  Let's face it -- it was like having Mike Tyson suggest he give you a c-section.  Or a vasectomy.

But that's all in the past, and now I have Dr.C who has put me back on the road to Super Girl-hood.  She said that all I have to do is...

- lose weight... because bodyfat holds and produces excess estrogen.
- eat organic... because non-organic food introduces carcinogenic/estrogenic/poisonous pesticides, herbicides, antibiotics, etc. into our system.
- exercise... to help balance my hormones, and generally keep me healthy.
- remove stress from my life... to heal my adrenals.

And I have to do this, because if I continue down the road I was on to get this way, my body will simply shut down!  ACK!

So, I'm back to Rebuilding the Temple once again.  Except this time, I'll be doing it at my own pace.  I'll be posting an update every Friday Mondays. (Updated Feb 13/11)

Now, to kick off my new body reconstruction, I present my Top 10 Things I Can Do Without, which  I found on Bruna's Bees With Honey blog, who got it from Katie's Sluiter Nation blog.

I have to admit that there are a lot of things that I'm better off without, because it's not about deprivation -- it's about keeping the crap out of the temple, right?!

Okay, here we go.  Here's my list with a health twist:

1: winter...
One of the things Dr.C told me to do was walk for half an hour each day.  Tropical-girl here doesn't want to walk outside in the winter, so my walks are currently of a side-to-side nature, instead of forward.  Yeah, hula.  Indoors.  Where I pretend it's not winter.
Also, I believe winter has no business sticking around after Christmas.

2: excess bodyfat...
I'm supposed to have 24% bodyfat... I currently have 14% a little more than that.

3: dairy...
I get all sinus infection-y after I have milk, ice cream, and other dairy products.  Cheese too!  Makes me sad because I can no longer have Wensleydale.  :(
But I feel great without it!  And now, when I try milk, it just tastes 'cow' to me.  Moo.

4: caffeine...
Since trying to eliminate my stress, I've not needed this stuff to get me going.  I sleep better at night, and I'm well-rested.  It's like when I was in 'training' for pregnancy.

5: decaf soy half-sweet caramel macchiatos... with whip...
Sad thing is I just found this!  But, yeah, I don't need this wonderfully tasty concoction.  I don't.  I don't.  I don't.  I don't.  Really, I don't.

6: sugar...
I'm insulin resistant.  Sugar is bad for me.  It makes me fat.  I need to stay away from it.  I can stay away from it.  Thing is, it's going to be HARD because I've got a sweet tooth.  I love pavlova, sweet chocolate, cheese cake, ice cream, sponge toffee...  what was I saying again?

7: stress...
Life is stressful.  Worrying about kids.  The mortgage.  Home renos.  Health issues.  Annoying people.  OH SO MANY annoying people.  I can definitely do without all that, but sometimes, it's so SO hard to not feel so stabby...

8: carbs...
I can literally (yes, LITERALLY) feel myself getting fat when I eat bread.  And pasta.  And fried rice.  OMG, glorious garlic mashed potatoes too!  I don't need it, oh, but I'd willingly slather it all over my body, it's so tasty!

9: caloric drinks...
I'm talking sweetened drinks like pop, juice, coffee (which I can't drink without some type of sweetener), iced tea, etc.  Water and green tea is perfect for me.  I wonder if there's a way to de-calorify those decaf soy half-sweet caramel macchiatos.

10: cardio...
I'm talking jogging/running, and everything about it.  The sweating.  The pain.  The fact that I have to wear a bra made of freakin' steel to prevent the bounce.  I'm sticking to intervals/tabata, walks, and hula.  They're still painful, but not as long and evil.  Nor bouncy.

What are the 10 things you can do without?

raunchy, saucy, and a bunch of crazy sex goddess stuff.

As if I haven't TMI'd you enough here, I'm doing it elsewhere too.  But would I really reveal it all?  And could it all be true?  Perhaps...  ;)

Okay, I'll stop being all weird and cryptic now, and dare you to go to Studio 30+ where I've been asked to write today's featured post. 

Thanks to Jules and Jerrod for the opportunity to strut my stuff on The Magazine!

Oh, and, Lam, if you try to read that post, I will seriously ground you for... 'til college.  Remember, there are some things about your mother you really don't want to know.  Heh.

Okay, for the rest of you, head over to my post on The Magazine at Studio 30+.  And if you're over 30 and wordy too, feel free to join an awesome bunch of people.  Oh, and leave me a comment... I will love you forever!

observation of the day - 2011 february 4

While watching iCarly's iWant a World Record...

Lam: "Hey, Mama..."

Me: "Yah."

Lam: "On iCarly...?"

Me: "Uh-huh."

Lam: "The world record girl...?"

Me: "Okay."

Lam: "Her boyfriend...?"

Me: "Yup."

Lam: "The guy who doesn't blink...?"

Me: "Ugh! YES, Lam."

Lam: "You can see his nipples through his shirt."