I wasn't drunk or high. Delusional? Yeah, that's it.

I don't "partake".  No, I'm old and experienced enough to know that my body is a temple.  I am fully aware that anything other than good, clean food and drink would impair the temple's physical health, self-control, and decision-making functions.

Okay, if so, then what the hell came over me to decide to volunteer for my son's class trip to Oak Hammock Marsh?  You know, the trip where I'd be SNOWSHOEING IN -31C WINDCHILL?!!!

As I've emphasized time and again here, I am an island-girl.  Tropical weather?  Good.
Weather indigenous to areas as frickin' far away from the equator as possible?  Not so good.

But when I asked my son if he wanted me to be there, his so-non-committal-"sure, if you want"-it-might-as-well-have-meh-in-front-of-it told me he did.  Oh, yes, that's what he meant.  If you have a son like mine, you'll know what I mean.

So, I went.

On the way there, a window on the bus fell out, and we had to transfer onto a different school bus in the middle of the highway.  We arrived half an hour late.

I got to play Telephone with the girls in the class during lunch.

We learned that wetlands are characterized by water depth of 2 meters or less.  (I believe in life-long learning, baby!)

I taught the kids what an "amphibian" was.

I was called the Cool Mom for packing a bag of Hickory Sticks in Lam's lunch bag. 

I went snowshoeing for the first time in my life!

The bus, which was supposed to pick us up at 1:15pm to head back to school, came for us at 2:15pm.  (Yes, we had to entertain a bunch of Grade 3/4 for a full hour!)

I took a ton of pictures of this dude.  (Yes, that one's mine.)


And yes, I totally froze my ass and left ear!

Regrets?  Of course not!  My kid's worth it, dammit!  And I could tell he enjoyed having his mom there.  :)

Besides, how much longer will I be welcome to these things?  How much longer 'til I'm cramping his style?  When he gets a "rep" that he needs to protect?  When he doesn't want the girl he likes to think he's a "Mama's Boy"?

Don't know!  So, until then, I'm volunteering for lots more stuff.  No matter what it is.

Next event: February 25th Outdoor Winter Games with toboggan races, quinzie building, snowshoeing, and snow soccer.  It'll probably be -31C windchill again.  Hold me.

He...

- read his first word "up" and second word "down" at the age of 1.5.

- when he was 2.5, read bedtime stories to himself and to his new baby sister so Mommy could nurse his sister to sleep.

- in nursery school, was sad when he found out that he couldn't give his email address to his classmates because they didn't have email. And they couldn't read.

- at the age of 7, started writing stories before bed instead of reading them.

- is one of seven Grade 3 kids in the combined Grade 3/4 class in his school.

- was one of four kids -- and the only Grade 3er -- to represent his class in yesterday's school-wide Intermediate (Grades 4/5/6) Spelling Bee.

- made it to the Top 10 of the Spelling Bee.
 
- got the most cheers from his classmates every time he spelled a word right... and the most "aw"s, "oh no"s, and pats on the back when he didn't.

- has a mom, who raced to the school from halfway across town to watch her boy in one of his many moments of glory,... and who, despite being able to take only one crappy picture from her cell phone, is sharing because she wants everyone to know that her son is AWESOME!!!  (yup, he's the tiny one in the middle with the 2 empty seats beside him.  :D)

so stylish.

OMG, I'm stylish!!!  Really, I am!  Please don't let my ketchup-stained yoga pants, faded t-shirt, and granny sweater fool you.  I can totally rock the high heels and LBD!  And if you still don't buy it, check out my latest award!

One of my new bloggie friends, the lovely and also-stylish Bruna of Bees With Honey, declared me a Stylish Blogger with this super-gorgeous Stylish Blogger Award

Thank you so much, Bruna!!!  You are so awesome!  I want to bake you a cake and brush your hair... but not in a weird and creepy way.  Anyway, you're fab, babe!
If you haven't been to see her blog, GO!  GO NOW!  Well, okay, finish reading this post, but go immediately when you're done.

Now, with this stylish power comes stylish responsibility.  I must fulfill the following stylish rules, which I've done above and below...

Rules for accepting this award are:
1. Thank & Link back to the person who awarded you this.
2. Share 7 things about yourself.
3. Pay it forward to 5 recently discovered great bloggers.
4. Contact those bloggers and tell them about their award.
  
7 groovy things about ME... that aren't in my 100 things... I think:

1. I like my green tea like I like my men.  Strong and tasty.

2. Tom yum soup is my #2 favourite ethnic dish.  Make me some with extra cilantro, and I'll consider renaming my first born after you. 

3. I'm collecting all the Friends DVDs. So far, I have Seasons 1, 2, 6, 8, 9, 10.

4. As a continuation of my Hair Saga, I now wash my hair with conditioner.  I haven't used shampoo since the winter of 2008-2009.  My hair and scalp have never loved me more.

5. After losing 8 pounds via last year's FatBet, I regained it all... plus an extra 4.  So, now I'm working on going from 140 to 120, which is my healthiest weight.  Dammit.

6. Every winter, instead of wearing long underwear, I wear "fuzzy pants", or jeans with a built-in fleece liner.  Mmmm... soooo waaaaarm.... even in -40C windchill.  I highly recommend.

7. I love Luna & Larry's Organic Coconut Bliss Non-Dairy Frozen Dessert in Naked Coconut, and you should each buy me a tub of it.

~   ~   ~

I now pass on the award to the following 5 new-to-me stylish bloggers you MUST read as well...

1: Vinny C - As Vinny C's It

2: Susie - Suze Homemaker

3: Pam J - Can't Wait...

4: Rachel - The Rachel Chronicles

5: Sarah - Overthinking Mama

So, go, dear ones, check these blogs!  Go now!  You'll love 'em!

there's glamourous. and then -- there's me.

Why couldn't I have looked this gorgeous when I was pregnant?...



Instead, I looked this... harsh...

Yikes!

come on. show me yours. delurking day 2011.

It's that time of year again! (Do I start every Delurking Day post that way?)  Yes, my lovely internets, it's the time of year when we bloggers get all "leave-me-a-comment"-y!

Actually, I almost forgot it this year.  Thankfully, the manly, fragrant, and rarely sticky Rude Cactus emailed all of his bloggy cohorts to remind us all of this special event and give us the lovely graphic you see over to the left.

Whether you're new to Life Candy (welcome to my brain farts!), a devoted LC commenter/emailer, or a shy LC fan, now is the time for you to flash me (like that graphic dude) one of your comments.  Bare it all, baby!  It's okay!

First of all, if you would normally hit "Anonymous", hit "Name/URL" instead.  You can leave just your name -- URL is optional.  But if you do leave a URL, I will come by and comment!

Secondly, leave one of these message ideas...
1: a simple "Yo!"
2: the colour of underwear you are currently wearing
3: what you had for breakfast
4: leave a message for my cousin Marlon who just became a grandfather (He's just a year older than me!  No, I'm not old.)
5: or a combination of the above.

Okay, folks, show me the love!  And... go!  xo

it's curtains for you, uh, house.

Oh, my lovely internets, I've been disgustingly productive.  For the past 4 days, I've been in the Curtain-Sewing Zone.  <cue the Twilight Zone theme>

Now, keep in mind that I'm a knitter/crochet-er.  I make gorgeous crap with yarn, yet when sewing, I'm a spaz.  Oh, let's face it, I'm an all-around craft spaz.  Need I remind you of my non-zen origami fiasco of 2010?
Yeah, that wasn't pretty, and neither was my house this week.  It looked as if the sewing section of Walmart threw up in my diningroom.  Black and white thread everywhere.  Scraps of fabric and bobbins crammed in inappropriate places.  And I still can't find my seam ripper.

But really, if we wanted to save over $1600 (would you like my firstborn too, Sear's drapery department people?!), I had to buy inexpensive ready-made curtain panels, rip 'em apart, bring all the ripped bits together, and magically make them look better and not mangled by Ms. Craft-Spaz.  Oh, the things I do to save a buck.

Project #1 was a curtain for Mini's new loft bed.  She chose both fabrics herself.  And she loves the finished product -- and the fun new place where she can hide her crap.


Project #2 was much more involved and long overdue.  After suffering the same old mind-numbing beige sheers on our livingroom window for 8 years, I decided to sew a brand new, more privacy-preserving set.  I figured our neighbours were probably sick of watching us on "Naked Cartwheels and Interpretive Dance" Thursdays.
Just kidding.  They're on Wednesdays.

The catch with these curtains is that they're on a special track, need curtain hooks to hang off said track, and need pleats sewn into them for the curtain hooks.  PLEATS.  Dang!

But I did it.  I sewed the frickin' pleats, and by the night of day 3, my livingroom window looked like this...


Stop laughing.  <sigh>  Yes, it looked like crap from the outside (okay, from the inside too), but if my neighbours can survive my dumping mulch all over my lawn in 2006, they could survive this.

But already, it was looking less sheer-curtain poo-ish.  Roomie even said it looked "fresh". 

After the dust settled and the "it's so old, it doesn't have a reverse lever" sewing machine was put away, my curtains were finally fit for display.  Gorgeous, non?!


So proud!
Unfortunately, beside the beauty of the new drapes, my loveseat looks like crap...

martians. bathroom guts. and other lovely things.

- Holy crap, my beloved blog made it on AllTop!  I just found out when I found a "Guy's Latest Book" email from them in my SPAM folder.  I could've been on there for months and didn't know!  Anyway, OMG, awesome!!!  And how the hell did that happen?!  Oh, I don't care -- I'm there.  I'm in the Life category, if you want to check me out.  Yay me!

- I still have the Sherlock Holmes DVD I rented 2 months ago.  I haven't watched it yet.  And I won't return it until I've watched it, because, hello, RDJ!  And I'm stubborn.  And with late fees, apparently, I'm rich.  Oh, and also delusional.

- For Roomie, I changed my cell phone ring tone from what I could only describe as "swanky exotic dance tune" to -- wait for it -- the "sound of a phone ringing".  As in "brrrrring -- brrrrring -- brrrring".  You know, like...


... so, anyway, I changed it after Roomie took the cell with him while grocery shopping, and he didn't pick-up when I called because he "didn't hear any phone ringing".
Frankly, I think he couldn't hear it over the sound of cookies and sandwich fixin's.

- The whole ringtone thing makes me think my husband is totally old-skool.  But really, he's not, because he's finally on Twitter.  I'd share it, but OMG, THE MATH!

- Last month, my daughter lost 3 teeth in 5 days.  She didn't want to cash them in yet, so she waited.  Now, she's about to lose a 4th.  And she's decided that, when it falls out, she wants to cash them all in AT THE SAME TIME.
Dude, at $5 a pop, this is totally going to mess up the Tooth Fairy's budget!

- My house is like a snow globe.  It looks like someone shook it about and let the snow gently drift down, but instead of white fluffy snow, it's crap.  Lots of it.  Yes, I'm still decluttering.

- I'm all excited about the upcoming Royal Wedding.  Would've wanted Wills to wait until Mini was grown up before he decided to find a bride, but meh, Kate is nice.  ;)

- I feel like a walking Russ Meyer movie.  I'm up to 140, and I swear it's all boobs because I'm overflowing the E/F while my ever-loose jeans have reached the realm of "clown pants".

- Remember my deeply-troubled bathrooms?  Yeah, well, they still look like this...

powder room ceiling

upstairs full bath

Hold me.

the resolutionizing of 2011.

Happy New Year, darlings of mine!!!

How did you ring in 2011?  I went to a party.  A small one.  Dress code: pajamas.  And conveniently, it was at my house.  AND EVERY. ONE. CAME!  Not like they had a choice -- they all live here.  But I know they still would've come if they didn't, because these people are total party animals.

And we ate...

melons and grapes for me -- bready things for my mob.

It was a great way to say "good riddance" to a rough year full of half-done bathroom renos, blogging apathy, ultrasounds and unnecessary surgeries, too many colds/flus, and clutter that just won't go away.

Now it's 2011, and it's time for the bright, shiny, and not so polly-wally-crappy...

1: Take more time to relax, worry less, and de-stress.  And rest when my body demands it.  Oh, and get enough sleep!  My ND told me that these things were KEY to healing my adrenals, getting my health back, and keeping me from going bitchcakes whenever someone looks at me the wrong way. 

2: Go to hot yoga twice each week. This is my "thing" after all, right?

3: Bedtime by 9:30pm.  As in bed.  Asleep.  At 9:30.

4: No laptop in bed.  Which is also key because I need sleep, and a smutty romance novel gets me to sleep quicker than the glare of a laptop screen.  It's pretty sad -- just as the hero and heroine are getting to the bodice ripping part, I'm ready to snore and drool all over the place.  Eh, whatever works, right?

5: One project at a time.  Focus on one project and finish it before moving on to the next one. Seriously. And no new projects until the bajillion items on my current list are done!  Gah!!!

6: Get more people to pay me to write.  2010 saw my health impact my writing in a very negative way.  Inactivity due to apathy, mild depression, and mental exhaustion totally sucks.  This year, I'm ready to get back to being a blogging machine!

7:  Pay more attention to my appearance.  Wardrobe redux.  Do my hair.  Wear make-up.  Wear perfume.  All natural stuff, of course.  I'm done looking -- and thus, feeling -- like poo every time I leave the house!

8: Go out for dinner with my pretend boyfriend Gerard Butler, dazzle him with my beauty and wit, and despite all his begging, refuse to run away with him.  Nope, still not ready to let this one go.

How about you?  What are your goals for the new year?
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