As y'all know, one of the items on my List of Things to Do before 40 is to get my cholesterol under control. So, the other day, I decided to get started by getting my biomarkers and hopped onto my scale. Well, I almost crapped.


And on the same day, I saw a hot mom-of-7 grooving her 6-pack and size-2 ass all over a Turbo Jam infomercial. WTF?!! Thanks, Universe. Way to kick a girl when she's down.

Now, I know many of you are probably thinking "136? So what?! That's nothing". For me, it isn't nothing. It's not healthy. Especially when my not-overweight parents are taking $600 worth of blood pressure medication. Especially when my bodyfat is over 36%. Yes, almost half of me is fat. Eww.

And then there's this. May I remind you of this picture here to the right? (I can't believe I'm showing it again.) It's my shapeless ass with the more-than-a-hint of muffin top.
Don't try to flatter me. I'm being realistic here. It's not pretty. And don't tell me you don't see it. My readers have excellent eyesight.*

Yes, I'm apple-shaped... I gain all my weight up top, near my organs... not good. Even my doctor's concerned. And, in this shot, I was only 125lbs. I'm worse now. Scary.

So yeah, my bodyfat is high because my metabolism is shot. Totally. I lost a lot of muscle when I went too low-cal when I practiced CRON, and we all know that the more muscle you have the faster your metabolism. CRON is a great lifestyle, if you can sustain it. I couldn't, and now the pounds are packing on.

I'm a smart girl. I know what I'm supposed to do to get myself in bikini shape. Build muscle, do cardio, eat clean. Simple, right?
Then why is it that I'd rather squeeze ginger juice into my eyes (I've done it before -- long story)... that I'd rather dance half-naked in 5C weather in front of complete strangers (yeah, I've done that too)... that I'd rather eat Pig's Blood Stew (it's a filipino thing)?

What do I do about that?

* - Yes, when you start reading my blog, you will in time no longer need glasses. And if you didn't need glasses to begin with, you get x-ray vision. Really.


  1. I wouldn't think 136 is high at all unless you were under 5'0 tall. By the looks of it I don't think you are. In fact - I think you look great!

    I know how it goes though, I'm the same way. People will tell me I look wonderful, but if I don't feel it on the inside the everything else goes out the window.

    Together we shall conquer our inner (and outer) critics :-)

  2. @kari:
    Because I primarily gain weight in my middle and have relatively slim legs, I'm able to camouflage and give the illusion that I'm slim.
    Meanwhile, my cholesterol is up way too high. My father is slim yet his blood pressure is through the roof.

    Even though I'm 5'4", being 136 isn't healthy for me, especially with over 36% bodyfat. I was pregnant the last time I was 136, so being like this now is not good.
    I need to kick this bodyfat pronto!

  3. How about slowly reintroducing healthy habits?
    1)Perhaps, start with drinking lots of water.... I find that's the easiest thing to do.
    Then when you are ready
    2) No snacking after 8pm
    Later, you can
    3)Start building the big muscles, by doing a few squats, lunges and some push-ups.

    Anyway, personally, I find myself less "rebellious" when I tackle the problem methodically and breaking it down into doable chunks.

    Let us know how it goes!!

  4. @su:
    yeah, I've done the planning, set up the baby steps, and the slow reintroduction of good habits. I think that's a throwback from my 'geer days where everything is broken down and planned to the smallest minutiae.

    Unfortunately, my problem is motivation. I'd think "okay, it's time for another glass of water... meh, I can wait another hour", and next thing you know, the day's over and I've had one glass.

    Any suggestions on lighting a fire under my butt? Threats to come over here and kick my ass are more than welcome... especially since I haven't seen you in a while! :)

  5. You mentioned a bikini on a beach before 40. That's a doable goal and far enough away to be done healthily (shut up. It's a word now). I'd show up with you on a beach in a bikini today* so it's definitely your personal goal, and about how YOU feel.

    Some people use a photo on their fridge or bathroom mirror for motivation, but you've already stated a goal. Now do it. No starving or crazy stuff. And I get to decide what that (crazy) is :-P


    * well, (a) in a different part of the world, and (b) with YOU in a bikini! I'd be ok in a two piece, but have too much fruit-leather hanging from the stomachular (shut up. It's a word now) area to go all the way. Can't diet or exercise THAT off... stupid kids...

  6. Because it's just another bloody thing on the plate of things to do?

    That's why I have trouble getting around to exercise.

  7. I'm not going to provide any "advice" on losing weight because, hey, we all know what my advice is worth... but if I were at 136 pounds, I would be so tempted to nudge it that teensy bit up to that magical number 137... you know, the 33rd prime number? The fine structure constant α ?
    The number of points Gretzky got in his first NHL season? The number of an awesome Gibson guitar (ES-137)? The channel number of the CBC Radio One on Sirius? The number of atoms in a chlorophyll molecule, without which life would not exist as we know it?

    I'm telling you, 137 is a magical number.

  8. @wyliekat:
    I think you hit it right on the head for me. After doing all the things I need to do for kids and home, I'm too pooped to do things for myself. I just want to sit and read.

    nope, nothing crazy/extreme this time around... just no-crap, portion control, and everything in moderation. I swear!
    I'm still wondering if I have the "fruit leather" thing too. My slimdown in 2006 kinda hinted at the possibility.

    Hey, didn't we meet on a beach on the Mediterranean?... I vaguely recall you reminding me in a quiz a while ago. :)

  9. Can't recall. I've met a lot of people on a beach in the Mediterranean.

    None in my waking hours, though... :-(

  10. maybe the apple shaped thing is an asian thing because that's totally me....but really when I gain....it's all in my arms + face. the biggest face ever ~ thot to make u smile ;-)

  11. @taste memory:
    yes, it must be. my belly, then my chest, then my face, and finally my arms. when my arms get chunky, that's when I REALLY have to get my act together. :)