sabotage.

Just a reminder that next week's Life Candy 2nd Blogoversary Extravaganza Week will feature an *Everything You Wanted To Know About Nenette* post. So, if you want to know something about me or want to know my thoughts on something, be sure to leave your questions in the comments here, or email me. Deadline October 6.

Okay, I turn 40 in just over a month, which means I have 4 weeks to meet all of my "Before I Turn 40" goals, which include run a marathon, learn Spanish, take singing lessons, have a portrait of myself painted... and...

... oh, yeah, wear a bikini at the beach.

Bahahaha! Wait, let me finish laughing before I go on... Ahem. Alright, I'm fine now.

Okay, that's NOT going to happen anytime soon. And not for the lack of trying, because I've tried, and tried, and tried!

I've fallen off the wagon so many times my ass is covered in gravel, horse-poop, and road kill. And do you have any idea how hard it is to wash that crap off?! It stays stuck on you, as a constant reminder of how much you look like Jabba the Hutt in Return of the Jedi, when he was too much of a fat bastard to walk on his own, and had to have his minions shuttle him everywhere. Yeah, like that!

I've gained about 20 lbs. since 2006, Halloween 2006 to be exact. Damn you, Kit Kat and Coffee Crisp "Minis", and your ability to deceive me with your tiny size and claims of "oh, I'm only 80 calories -- you can have as many of me as you want and stay teeny tiny :D"!

And that was just the beginning. Since then, there've been...

Starbucks' Mocha Frappucinos/Tim Horton's Iced Capps

When summer finally decided to come to town in September, this was the only thing that cooled me off. My usual favourite -- Iced Tall Light-Iced Green Tea Lemonade -- just didn't cut it.

This was sweet, tasty, and cool. And something I'm going to have to kill off drastically. Cold turkey. Gradual is not going to cut it.

FYI I actually prefer Iced Capps... made with CREAM! Take that, remaining cholesterol-free arteries!

The Cupcakery Cupcakes

I'm addicted. This last time I ended up with a dozen minis, a half-dozen regular, and a dozen day-old minis that we got for 25% and tasted JUST AS AWESOME!!!
But in all seriousness, I should just stick to the dozen fresh minis.
DAMMIT. Okay, a half dozen minis. And at least one of them has to be mocha.

Chocolate/Vanilla Swirl Soft Ice Cream

Ignore the cute little girl eyes at the bottom of the picture. I know, she's distracting. And she couldn't eat all of her ice cream. So I finished it for her.

We had this almost every day during our camping trip. They had a concession stand in a fort near the beach and campsites, so it was an easy walk over from our tent.
And now, I'm frickin' addicted.

Eating As Much As My Husband

I am not a 6' tall man who runs 5km twice a week. So, why do I constantly eat like one?
At our house, we have the "adult" portion size, and we have the "kids" portion size. Apparently, the "adult" size is enough to feed a tree.

If I want to be a slim 5'4" tall woman who practices yoga 2-3 times a week, I need to eat like a... well, YKWIM.

Treat Day

Frickin' day of enabling every single vice I have. It's the "eat whatever crap you want as long as you've eaten healthy the rest of the week" day. I usually end up ignoring the fact that I've eaten a few bad things the past week and eat whatever sugar I can get my hands on. Like this Skor bar, which I didn't really eat before until I had a Skor Blizzard at Dairy Queen.

Ya, it's like I'm a frickin' humming bird.

Grilled Cheese Sandwiches

Remember this? Rougie said this was food porn. And yes. Yes, she's right. It's making me want, people.
Frankly, I want to just take the sandwich in this picture and slather it all over myself. And I'm only a little bit kidding.

As soon as I finish this post, I'll be making myself one of these.

And that's happening... now.

Yes, folks, I got some work to do...
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