how does he come up with these things?

Roomie was standing at the kitchen sink. He had just turned on the faucet and was about to put a fresh face cloth into the stream of water.

Me: "Hey, what are you doing?"

Roomie: "Wetting this cloth."

Me: "Yeah, but why?"

Roomie: "To wipe the table."

Me: "Oh! Don't use that. That's what THIS cloth is for." I take the Norwex cloth hanging on the faucet and shove it into his hand.

Roomie: "Well, how was I supposed to know?! For all I know, you wiped your rectum with it!"

Me: "RECTUM? Ugh! If I did, that cloth wouldn't be hanging there!"

Roomie: "Oh, just say it: My name is Nenette, and I hang rectum cloths in my kitchen."


  1. "...damn near killed 'im!"

    Seriously. I can't believe you still ask these questions.

  2. Ate!! So proud! Good for you...ok enough of the positives..I'm actually boiling with jealousy. Maybe not boiling, just a simmer. Actually, nope...just proud of you! I've been doing somewhat of the similar since the
    Holiday '08 (can u say oink oink?) But instead of Tabada, I've yogaing it up and its usually a toss up between hula and a cardio machine. Well, that aside, I made a batch of cookies lastnight and ate half. How was your night?

  3. Okay, so laughing at this. Not only because it's funny, but also because I thought ours was the only household where the concept of a rectum cloth had been discussed.

  4. Well, gee, would it be that much of a surprise to find that you hang your rectum cloth in the kitchen sink? I mean, you are the only person I know with a Authorized Farting Zone in her living room.

    So, if you don't keep it in the kitchen sink, where do you keep your rectum cloth?

    And... does hubby know the difference between the rectum and the anus? Because, you know, given the geography of the situation, I don't see how one would go about wiping one's rectum, while wiping an anus is child's play. Especially when toilet training.

    I'd hate to think your hubby doesn't know his rectum from a hole in his ass.

    I am really looking forward to finding out what kind of web searches will lead people to this page in the future...

  5. @harmzie:
    Not asking would mean I've reached the point of apathy (to me, at least), and I hope I still ask when I'm old and grey! :)

    Thanks, Pinsan! :)
    So pleased you're active! If I had your talents, I'd be making myself cookies all the time -- of course, I'd feels so guilty that I'd be eating them while jogging on my treadmill. ;)

    Oh, the things we discuss in this house! Rectum cloths are a relatively new term -- we have many other weird ones I'll likely inflict on all you guys as time goes on.

    It's funnier *because* of its anatomical incorrectness... don't you think? :)
    And yeah, search terms -- I like having bizarre terms lead here. It's my in-your-face to all the fetishists; let them come and read about my kids' farts and my weight loss! Ha! :)

  6. well, I guess I meant "out loud" ;-)

    As for the fetishes, you may be inadvertently (or advertently?) causing the creation of whole new permutations & combinations of fetishes ("rectum cloths in a farting zone?... hey, what the heck!")

  7. @harmzie:
    unfortunately, "did I say that out loud?" seems to be something I've been saying often lately! LOL

    hmmm... hypothetically overheard somewhere: "oh, baby, that was awesome!" "yeah, I learned that from LifeCandy..."
    OMG!!! EWWWWW!!! LOL!

  8. that's "oh mistress, that was awesome"

    well, so I've heard.

    (hey! finally an almost appropriate WV!! "yarowne" You've gotta say it right, like it is in my head)