Who's On Your Freebie List?

Image: The Cradle-Robbing Martini Marauders 1999

Whenever my girlfriends and I get together for a Girls' Night Out, we always talk about the latest versions of our freebie lists.
The revelations usually take place just after dinner. We're relaxed, enjoying dessert, a little buzzed, and primed for some laughter and the inevitable swooning. It's one of my favourite times of the evening.

If you've watched Friends, you'll know what the "freebie list" is. For those who don't know, the freebie list is the list of famous people you can bed with the permission of your significant other, if you are able to lure them to your lair in the first place.

I'm sure, for a group of smokin'-hot babes, my girls and I would all have a decent chance with the dudes on our lists - if only we'd move to Hollywood, choose the guys that were still alive, and not have to invent a time machine to hook up with the hotties in question. Yes, I'm looking at you, sly and myrtle! "Sean Connery but only in Darby O'Gill and the Little People", indeed! Pfft!

Ross' laminated list had only 5, but we increased our lists to 10. For this post, I'll only reveal my top 5.

So, how about you? Have you made your own list? Who's on it?

Okay, without further ado, here's my Top 5...

Gerard Butler
My #1, this dude's appeal is that he's not a pretty-boy. Smart and funny, Ger would make a one-night-stand entertaining in more ways than one.
It's rather disturbing that, in some pictures, he looks eerily like Roomie. I mean, fantasizing about a guy that looks just like your spouse shows such a lack of imagination. But it also means I'm married to my fantasy guy. :)

Eric Bana
He was hot in Troy... well, who wasn't hot in Troy?! But he was truly the apex of hottitude in that movie, outshining even Brad Pitt, to me at least. Harmzie might disagree. :)

Olivier Martinez
Restaurant bathroom scene, Unfaithful... just watch it and you'll understand. :) Kylie's a lucky girl. He's also known as the Brad Pitt of France... do you see it? I do... a little.

Richard Dean Anderson
He never did anything for me as McGyver, but as Jack O'Neill in Stargate SG-1, wow. He rocks that black t-shirt when he runs. :) Once again, the humour is a big factor.

Requires no justification, n'est pas? :)

Okay, now you! I can't wait to see who's on your lists!


  1. OK, here it is... a list of living guys who I don't have to go back in time for!

    Clive Owen - yummy with a fabulous sexy voice.

    Eric Bana - yeah, what you said.

    Ewan McGregor - Like the movies (trainspotting, pillow book, big fish), dig the riding a motorcycle around the world and love that cute smile in Moulin Rouge.

    George Clooney - handsome funny. what could be better.

    Matt Damon - he's a new addition, but I like a funny guy, and all the jimmy kimmel stuff is cracking me up. Plus, I like the brooding look in the Bourne movies.

  2. great list, girlfriend!
    yeah, clive... if I were to reveal the second half of my list, he'd be there... and climbing fast! :)

  3. You are a nasty girl! You've been bugging me about this for years, so here goes. This list is only good for today, tomorrow, it might be different.

    Gabriel Byrne & Bryan Ferry. I count them as one, because I suspect they might be the same person. Have YOU ever seen them in the same place at the same time??? I didn't think so. A similar example is Kevin Costner & Dennis Quaid (neither on this "list" btw)

    Sting - d'uh. Since about grade 8.

    Adam Levine - look 'im up and tell me your knees don't get weak. Oh yeah, Cougar me up, baby. Like Uma Thurman says "I've got tshirts older than you"

    Patrick Stewart - make it SO captain!!!

    Han Solo >OOPS< of course I mean Harrison Ford. Have you ever seen him playing a NOT so nice guy! He's even better...

    Kevin Spacey - he, on the other hand is NOT hotter when he's nasty. He is scary. Fortunately, he's not usually nasty.

    That's five. I like big nerds and I can not lie. My nerd-sisters can't deny...

    But of course I'm well (painfully?) aware that there is no *real* freebie list if it ever came down to it. Since that's the case, here's a couple of more:

    Brad Pitt - a staple. He's best when he's insane... but mostly naked & buff is just fine too (Troy)

    I have a nerd-sister friend (gave me my name) who shyly & embarrassedly (word?) admitted she had a thing for Sam Waterston (Law & Order). She said people usually gave her nasty looks when she admitted that but I am TOTALLY with her! (Given the nature of this "list", I should probably clarify: not "with her" so much, but more "in agreement")

    Robin Williams - that would just be a wild adventure.

    Clint Eastwood - just for bragging rights for the S.O.

  4. What?!!! Brad's only an ALTERNATE?
    Okay, I guess if you go full 10, he'll be there, but I'm a little stunned he didn't make Top 5.

    You were always so non-committal with your List. Over the years, I think I was only able to get Adam Levine and Brad Pitt out of you. ;)

  5. Hey. The list is shifting sands...

  6. oooh, Bryan Ferry. Love that voice. He could be on my list. Gabriel Byrne could be too.

    Never thought of the Gabriel Byrne/Bryan Ferry connection. Kind of like the Robert DeNiro/Al Pacino connection (not on my list, but I really have trouble remembering who stars in which movie).

    I like Sting, but back in the days of the Police, I had a thing for Andy Summers. Sting seemed too serious.

  7. Oh goodness... only 5. I'm off to narrow down my list. Be back soon, reporting with my list. Like Harmzie, I usually like the geeky guys too. And I KNOW Brad Pitt won't make my list. Dunno what it is, but I guess he's just not my type.

    Ok, be back soon!

  8. 1. Capt. Jack Harkness, oh I mean John Barrowman. The man is a triple threat. He can sing, act, plays in a sci-fi show (Torchwood), and dresses great. Nevermind the fact that he's gay. I'm in love. Plain and simple.

    1. (It's a tie, what can I say...) Peter Berg. Mainly a director (Friday Night Lights, Wonderland, The Kingdom, Very Bad Things), but he was in Alias, and had small appearances in Collateral, Smokin' Aces, and Corky Romano, I feel in lust with him as a teen in Aspen Extreme. He's been my number 1 ever since!

    3. Zachary Levi- He plays in NBC's Chuck. The show is a little bit of Alias, little bit of geeky-goodness, with Mr. Hottie running around. I'm a sucker for his dark hair.

    4. Adam Levine- Yum, Yum. Yum. Dark eyes, dark hair... (I'm melting...) and the man can croon some tunes.

    5. Jamal Mayers- I'm not sure he counts, since he's a professional hockey player for the St. Louis Blues; but he just moved onto my list these past 3 months. He's bald, dark eyes (again!), and looks great in a suit (or a hockey uniform, hell, he'd look good in anything).

    Others further down my list: Matt Damon, Matthew Goode, and Matthew McConaughey.

  9. uh oh, I think Peter Berg and Adam Levine are going to be kicking a few people off the second half of my list!
    Jamal Mayers totally counts... he's famous, so he counts. :)

    Despite being gay, Tom Ford has almost made my list on numerous occasions.

  10. Oh boy! Here goes my list:

    1. Gerard Butler - need I say more. oh Gawd, yeah!

    2. Clive Owen - intelligent and sexy and AWWWWW-SOME!!

    3. Orlando Bloom - cute as Legolas, hot by the last Pirates movie. It's good to have a youngin in the list.

    4. David Bowie - ever since I saw Labyrinth as I was kid - wow. But has anyone noticed him in "The Prestige" - gets better with time!!

    5. Takeshi Kaneshiro - normally, asians aren't my type (maybe b/c i've had a stigma in my head that all asian guys were somehow related to me after calling their mother's "Auntie") he may be not overexposed in Hollywood, but he was definitely sexy in "House of Flying Daggers"

    Goodness, after reviewing this list, none are Americans. LOL! How funny!

  11. Dang! Orlando Bloom! This list is going to go through several iterations before it goes to the laminators...

  12. @cyndi -
    oh yes Orlando! :) He is on the second half of my list, along with Clive, Adam, Peter, and Ed Quinn, who I'm thinking of bringing up to the Top 5...

    @harmzie -
    Just as you said, girlfriend: "shifting sands"...

  13. Hmmm... no responses from guys yet? I guess someone has to tell you what your husbands are thinking so it may as well be this idiot!

    All I can say is... Bryan Ferry? Bryan Ferry rates up there with all this muscular eye candy? How does that work?

    OK, if Bryan Ferry (and Andy Summers? what? Behind Stewart Copeland?) make someone's list, here's some alternates that you all might want to reconsider. If the name doesn't conjure up a face, you should probably google for best effect... :-)

    1. Steve Buscemi. Come on, he's funny, and good looking! He was hilarious in Reservoir Dogs and in Ghost World!

    2. Lloyd Robertson. That voice, those ties, the hair... plus, for some of you, you don't have to worry about shouting out the wrong name!

    3. Floyd Robertson. Especially if he's dressed up as his alter ego, Count Floyd.

    4. Dumbledore. The long flowing beard, the odd pronouncements, the magic... plus I just like the idea of girls oohing and aahing "oh, Dumbledore!".

    4 (tie) Terry Gilliam as he appears as Patsy in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Funny and handy with the cocoanuts!

    5. The Trailer Park Boys, especially Buggles or whatever his name is. Someone who really enjoys taking care of his kitties must really know how to treat a lady right. Plus, he's so full of self confidence that he doesn't care about his appearance. We all know how much the ladies like that...

    6. Peter Mackay. Journalists always refer to him as a heartthrob, so he must be, right?

  14. hmmm... so you're saying you *wouldn't* sleep with any of these guys...

  15. I should get Roomie to comment... I wonder if Rachel Stevens and Jennifer Aniston are still on his list...

  16. ...so, I just watched "Elizabeth - The Golden Age" and Clive Owen might be telling Jean-Luc Picard or Harrison Ford that it's time to retire. {Oh my...}

    I find it odd that Albert is more interested in padding the ladies' lists than providing his own... Albert, is there something you're not telling us?

  17. I know this is an old post, but I could have sworn I commented on it before. My wife and I have many conversations over this list. Oh well, here goes the first male list of FEMALE freebies!

    In order of most importance:

    Selma Hayek: She's so smoking hot. She's got a great body, just the right amount of curves, not too skinny, not too big. Just right.

    Monica Belucci: She looked great in The Matrix Reloaded, and that was the first time I had ever seen her. I was pretty blown away, and she's older (than me anyway), which is hot. Also older than me.

    Nicole Kidman: Older than me. I never really cared for her until Moulin Rouge. Then I realized how hot she was.

    Alyson Hannigan: I was never a Buffy fan (I just don't watch much TV, nothing against Buffy) but I always thought Alyson was really cute. Just a very pretty, girl-next-door type of girl. I find that attractive. Older than me by 4 years.

    Man, that's all I can come up with right now. I thought I'd have more, but I guess not.

  18. @Paul -
    Nice list! I can totally see Selma Hayek's appeal. Your list seems quite varied... the only common denominator seems to be the 'older women' thing. Very cool!
    On behalf of all my fellow 30+yo women, thank you ;)

  19. Yeah, I'm 30 myself, so Alyson Hannigan isn't too much older than me, but either way. women my age aren't really represented all that well in the media. Usually they end up in a National Lampoon movie doing something stupid. Older women are more often portrayed as capable and intelligent, which is more attractive than drinking beer and showing boobies, although the occasional boobies are nice as well.

    Oddly enough, my wife is four years younger than me, but she's much smarter and mature than me, so the attraction level is the same as if she were older.

    I'd also like to add Carrie-Anne Moss from The Matrix. Another capable, intelligent woman, who could also probably help me with the more technical aspects of my blog, considering she could hack a human brain.

  20. There should be some feature that informs you when someone sends a comment your way... totally missed this one.

    Harmzie, there is *nothing* I'm not telling you. The real reason I'm not providing my own freebie list is that I don't think I get one. Nothing's free, there's a cost associated with everything.

    Plus, it's fun making up a list that gently mocks some of the surprising names that show up on some of the lists posted here. Well, actually, most of the surprising names on the list posted by you and Myrtle. It's six months later, and I'm still laughing out loud at the idea of Bryan Ferry and Andy Summers as pin-ups. To each her own...

    Paul --- check out the 2007 flick Fido for another side of Carrie-Anne Moss. It's a light fluffy movie about zombies (honest) where she plays a 1950's style mom at home.

    Paul - Alyson Hannigan? I'm too lazy to google her name right now, but isn't she the band camp girl from American Pie? Really?

  21. @albert -
    There is a check box when leave a comment that allows you to get follow-up comments emailed to you. :)

  22. @ Albert Bannatyne: I've seen Fido twice, it's a pretty good flick, and yes, Carrie-Anne Moss was really sexy in that as well. She can do no wrong.

    Yes, Alyson Hannigan is from American Pie, but I never saw that movie. You're not the first person to react that way when I announce that I find her hot. I can't bring myself to watch American Pie though, as I like comedy.

  23. For Paul and Albert... Alyson Hanigan is certainly cute and pretty... Here's my suggestions for girls:

    Scarlett Johansson (young, but she seems such a throw back),
    Jennifer Garner (she kicked serious butt in Alias),
    Kate Winslet (curvey girls rock),
    Julia Stiles (she's unique, I like that),
    Anna Paquin (she's quiet and stays out of the spotlight),
    and Katherine Heigl (I've been a huge fan of hers since My Father, The Hero and Roswell...she's simply beautiful).

    There we go. I love this post, Nen!

  24. @ bionic beauty: Wow, you reminded me of ladies I need on my list, thanks!

    Scarlett Johansson: While I think she's physically beautiful, I'm not actually attracted to her. Something about her makes me think we wouldn't get along in real life.

    Jennifer Garner: I do find her very attractive and she seems like a nice person. Definitely on the list. She was very cute in '13 Going on 30'.
    Kate Winslet: Extremely hot, I can't believe I forgot to add her, I've had the hots for her since... forever. I also saw her in real life at a SAG screening and questionnaire. She's very sweet, and yes, I find her more attractive because she has a bit more curves than many other actresses. She should probably be at the top of my list, before Selma Hayek.

    Anna Paquin: I find her somewhat attractive, but I'm not sure I would want to have sexual relations with her. I like her acting though.

    and Katherine Heigl: Physically attractive, but I'm not attracted to her. She seems like a diva, and I'm not referring to her singing voice.

  25. I've been waiting FOUR months in hopes that this post will get going again! Yay!

    @Paul: I am intrigued by your analysis of SJ. I have always thought it rather "silly" that I would find a stranger (celebrity) "attractive" but not **attractive** (I don't know how to make HTML sparkly letters, and don't care to find out), and that the difference was the physical vs. the (perceived) intellectual. I'm glad to see I'm not the only one.

    Gee, this sounds like I've put a lot of thought into it throughout my life. Umm... I haven't... really.

  26. @ Harmzie: yeah, I know what you mean. I guess it's not that I think I know what she would be like in real life, it's just a sense I get. A perception that makes me think... nah, I'll pass.

  27. @harmzie and @Paul -
    And *that* is the reason why Brad Pitt will never make it to my list.

  28. @ Nenette: I think Brad Pitt is probably an ok guy in real life, maybe just a bit cocky, but he's earned it. He IS Brad Pitt after all.

    George Clooney seems like an utter douche bag to me though.

  29. Neither Brad Pitt nor George Clooney are on my list. They aren't geeky enough for me. :) I like my guys tall, dark, mysterious and slightly nerdy.


  30. @Paul -
    I can see Brad as a drinking buddy, but not a shagging buddy. Same with George.

    Yeah, I like mine tall, dark, handsome, funny, and a tad on the nerdy side, too. Expand my list to 10, and you'll even find a scientist guy.

  31. Well, that's odd. I did click on the check box when I first posted, but I didn't receive any of these latest comments.

    I'll think of my girls and update on the newer post. However, first I want to add Craig Ferguson to my boy list.

  32. @paul: that's funny. I had a thing for David Duchovny a while back (a "celebrity" thing, so it was pretty small). I recall turning "Celebrity Jeopardy" off when he was on it because I really didn't want to find out that he was an idiot or a jerk - or worse than all that: flat. I guess more realistically, I had a thing for Fox Mulder - hee hee: nerdy anyone? Jami? ;-)

    @myrtle: THAT's funny, because I didn't think I had checked that box and suddenly I'm getting all these noticed (to Nen: I probably did - obviously - I just didn't remember)

  33. @harmzie and @BionicBeauty -
    Sad that all these guys aren't really nerds -- they "just play one on tv".

    On the other hand, there's Spencer Wells (my #5 - yes, I moved him up), a geneticist with National Geographic. I watch him on the CD that came with the Genographic Project that Roomie and I took part in. Roomie wondered why I kept swooning over mitochondrial DNA until I sheepishly admitted that it wasn't that but the tall, handsome scientist guy explaining it. :)

    Ed Quinn (my #2) is a scientist on Eureka, but he's a musician in real life. I'm completely okay with that -- being a musician myself, I'm aware of the technical knowledge involved. I know, doesn't really count as nerdy, but I'm hoping that means he's not an idiot.

  34. @ harmzie: That's funny because I always had a thing for Dana Scully, but not so much Gillian Anderson. I like nerdy girls too, especially ones that don't show a lot of emotion. It gives me a challenge. I have to break through the icy exterior.

  35. @Nenette: Ed Quinn. Yeah. I may have to rework my list a bit.

  36. @ Paul: oohh, Dana Scully! How could I forget her? I have a professional job that takes me out in the field. I like to look professional and yet functional and TO THIS DAY when I shop I'm saying "WWDSW?" (I think I might need a bracelet). Plus, she's just so cool and logical and never "chicky" - just aaall woman. When she gets pissed, you KNOW she's pissed... She gave us nerd-girls a role model. You know, something a little more functional than Uhura. Even Deanna Troi was a waif (now, Tasha Yar...)

    Given that our lists are populated by fantasy persons (you've never met them, so that's all you have to go on) and the FACT that there is no such thing as a "freebie" (I'll play - with relish! - but I stand by that) I'm going to go ahead & pick TV characters (ref: "who's on your freebie list?").

  37. oops! crap! It seems I'm getting confused between these two posts! Sorry. I hope anyone reading has them both in separate windows like I do!

  38. @Paul -
    So true, what harmzie said. I think the fact that we all see this as a fantasy game is what makes it such fun to play.

    To take all this seriously would be incredibly irresponsible.

    Yeah, it's all in fun...

    So, please feel free to share the list of dudes you think are hot these days. We need a male perspective.

    But, if you tell me Mario Lopez is better than sliced bread, I may have to shut this blog down and become a nun...

    [copied to both posts]

  39. lol ... and for some that's a topic for a whole OTHER fantasy realm!


  40. @harmzie -
    ah, yes, the "Tarts, Nuns, and Vicars" Universe :) LOL

  41. ...feeling much better since I've figured out you're not talking of Ed Harris (I noticed the bumping on your sidebar), who is certainly no slouch, but nonetheless was confusing me slightly... :-)

    I was worried that I missed a post & we had shifted to "top 5 father figures"!


  42. @harmzie -
    LOL Yikes! No, no... I'm sure you already looked it up, but for those who haven't, it's this Ed:


  43. 1. Salma Hayek: Lord have mercy... she is totally smokin' hot.

    2. Emma Thompson: Just plain ol' sexy... and British, to boot.

    3. Christina Hendricks: The how redhead from "Mad Men"

    4. Tilda Swinton: Particularly as a redhead. I know, she is a little odd, but hey, it is what it is.

    5. Kim Kardashian: She is a little on the skanky side... but hey, I like it a little dirty from time to time... and you can't beat an ass like that.


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