the 'c' word... but not THE 'c' word... and not that other 'c' word either.

If you've read my recent mini-freak-outs on Facebook and Twitter, wondered what the hell Nenette's ranting about this time, and finally messaged me to tell me to "for the love of heaven, zip it!" with your concern (for which I'm very grateful), you may have heard that -
(a) I'd just had a diagnostic ultrasound test on my woman parts on June 9th,
(b) I was totally thinking the worst, and
(c) they probably should've given me a sedative, because holy crap, I was driven to "blubbering moron" status by my wild imagination by the time the 2 weeks were up.

So, it should come as no surprise that, despite running a fever due to flu, I was NOT going to miss the follow-up appointment on the 24th.

Good news: I don't have cancer.
Not-so-good news: It wasn't nothing.

The not-nothings are...

... a cyst. A hemorrhagic cyst on my right ovary -- which explains the dull pressure/pain on my right abdomen, right leg, and round to my back -- that should allegedly shrink on its own. I'll be getting a follow-up ultrasound done in 2 months to see if it's vanished or grown to basket ball proportions.

... a couple of uterine polyps. Of unknown size. Which will have to be removed via D & C as they won't vanish on their own.

... possible endometriosis. Which we won't be investigating this until the polyps and cyst have been dealt with.

All in all, it's looking like I still have to get some work done under the hood. Thankfully, it's not complete organ removal, like my mother had at my age when they found ginormous cysts on both ovaries (I obviously come from a lumpy family), but I'm still very nervous.

Nothing new. I was a quivering mess like this when I had surgery to remove all 4 wisdom teeth (at 17) and when I had surgery to remove a benign lump in my breast (at 21 -- see? lumpy), so I think I will continue to be a little ball of freak-out from time to time until this is all done.

Keep an eye on my twitter stream and facebook updates for all my insanity.

are we done?

You've probably heard by now that the Silicon Valley Moms Group is shutting down. As of this coming June 30, the Canada Moms Blog -- for which I've been writing since its addition to the group early last year -- and all of our sister blogs will no longer be posting new articles.

Our Big Tent forum has been a-buzz with activity -- sadness, speculation, and tributes have been shared. By our US sisters.
However, other than this post by Jessica and some whisperings on our own small Canadian forum, I, and my fellow Canadian writers, have been silent. Why? I can only speak for myself when I say that I'm still rather numb with shock.

What can I say about the group that...

- was such a big part of my writing life for the past year.

- gave me the respect for my abilities I so craved.

- connected me with some of the most talented, brilliant, colourful, friendly, and lovable women in the blogosphere.

- challenged me and helped me hone my writing chops.

- helped me showcase my writing by selecting 3 of my 10 posts (this, this, and this) for national syndication.

- and more...

I'm hoping this isn't truly the end. I'm hearing all sorts of unofficial buzz. The possibilities are endless. We'll see.

In the meantime, we've been given the okay to move our posts to our own blogs, so I'll be doing that over the next few days. If you want to enjoy the awesomeness that is Nenette all over again, head over to the Canada Moms Blog category.

her very first dance recital.

On June 5th, I had the honour and pleasure of watching my daughter complete her first year of dance school. Yes, folks, my tiny dancer celebrated her year in the Ballet/Tap/Jazz Class with a grand dance recital at the Centennial Concert Hall.

Together with her 9 classmates, she twisted, danced to the Blues Brothers, and shook her tail feathers. Roomie, Lam, and my sister enjoyed the show from fabulous 5th row seats, but as the volunteer mom for her class, I had an even better view from my perch stage left. I could see her smile to the audience, gracefully sweep her hands, and tap her toes at the most perfectly correct moments.

OMG, darling readers, my heart kersploded with pride, and I cheered her on, loud and clear, just because I (and probably a gaggle of ninjas armed with gags and straight jackets) couldn't stop myself. Many times, I came so close to tears, because That Little Girl Is MY Baby!!!


And yes, she loved it. Next year: Grade 1 Ballet/Jazz! Yay!

PS - On the way home after the show, she asked if she could have suction cups "just 'cuz".

daddy today because we were busy celebrating him yesterday.

Lam, Roomie & Mini at Spruce Woods 2009

Here are the kids (at 7 and 5 yoa) keeping it real about their beloved dada...

1. What is something daddy always says to you?
Lam: not sure.
Mini: Mi-mi!

2. What makes daddy happy?
Lam: staying home.
Mini: kisses.

3. What makes daddy sad?
Lam: having to work later and spend less time home with us.
Mini: I can't think of anything.

4. How does your daddy make you laugh?
Lam: probably tickles, but he doesn't do that very much.
Mini: by kisses.

5. What did your daddy like to do when he was a child?
Lam: not sure.
Mini: play with the Lego.

6. How old is your daddy?
Lam: 42 and turning 43.
Mini: 42.

7. How tall is your daddy?
Lam: 3 times taller than me.
Mini: 2 feet tall.

8. What is his favorite thing to watch on TV?
Lam: maybe Mythbusters.
Mini: Dr. Who.

9. What does your daddy do when you're not around?
Lam: not sure.
Mini: sleep.

10. If your daddy becomes famous, what will it be for?
Lam: electronics.
Mini: kissing!

11. What is your daddy really good at?
Lam: electronics and math because he's a teacher at that.
Mini: sleeping, except when he snores.

12. What is your daddy not very good at?
Lam: cooking.
Mini: falling down?

13. What does your daddy do for his job?
Lam: teaching electronics and math.
Mini: teaches people.

14. What is your daddy's favorite food?
Lam: perogies.
Mini: bacon.

15. What makes you proud of your daddy?
Lam: that he knows good stuff.
Mini: that he's brave and tall.

16. If your daddy were a cartoon character, who would he be?
Lam: Bugs Bunny.
Mini: Mickey Mouse.

17. What do you and your daddy do together?
Lam: play video games, the latest is Super Smash Bros Brawl.
Mini: hug!

18. How are you and your daddy the same?
Lam: we both love video games.
Mini: we both have brown hair.

19. How are you and your daddy different?
Lam: I'm short and he's tall.
Mini: Daddy has green eyes and I have brown eyes.

20. How do you know your daddy loves you?
Lam: he tells me.
Mini: because he tells me.

21. What does your daddy like most about your mommy?
Lam: that she cooks for him.
Mini: she's his wife.

22. Where is your daddy's favorite place to go?
Lam: 7-Eleven, he's a 7-11-oholic!!!
Mini: to the mall, I think.

Thanks for being our Daddy, Daddy!

not yet a hula video.

I put on a hula demonstration/workshop at my kids' school BBQ yesterday. Yes, it was Hawaiian-themed, so no, I wasn't just some crazy woman who jumped on stage in her coconut bra screaming at people to "Wiggle it or die!!!"
Actually, I didn't do that. You'd have to give me a few gin and tonics -- then just a wee bit of encouragement -- for that to happen.

Gotta say, it's been 3.5 years since I closed my hula school, so I was nervous to the point of near-hysterics, and if anyone had looked at me the wrong way, I would've totally stabbed them with a BBQ skewer or thrown up on them mild shakes.

But it all turned out well, and everyone seemed to really enjoy dancing. Or they were nice enough to humour me by clapping when it was all done. Or maybe they were just happy that I was done torturing them.
Anyway, they were all very kind and supportive, and I was more than a little relieved that I got through it without spontaneously screamed profanities at everyone.
Yeah, I'm a weird nervous person.

No worries though -- my kids are only in Kinder and Grade 2. I have plenty of time to find other more-delightful ways to earn the "Weird Mom" badge and ruin my kids' reputation in front of their friends. Hehehe.

Roomie took a video of the performance, but until I work up the courage to post it here (yes, I will -- I promise!), you'll have to put up with this post I stole from Mr. Adam...

1. It's 2AM and you are not home. You are more than likely:

Dead on the street, because that would be the only reason why I'm not in my bed by 10pm. I evidently lead a very exciting life.

2. What's the last thing you spent more than $100 on?

I bought $100 worth of perennials and other gardening material recently. Feels like my wallet punched me in the face, but my garden looks kickass!

3. What do your bank checks look like?

They're covered in dust. And tears.

4. Where did the shirt you are currently wearing come from?

Zeller's. $7. It's a plain, black, v-neck T. I think I'll be going back to wearing my classic solid coloured t-shirts like I did when I was young and thin. Because I have delusions that wearing those t-shirts will actually make me young and thin again.

5. Name something that will be on your Christmas wish list:

iPhone. Because I still think "iPad" sounds too much like a feminine hygiene product.

6. What color is your toothbrush?

I don't know the name of the colour. Chartreuse? All I know is that it's the same colour as Roomie's and he keeps thinking it's his. And uses it.

7. Name something you collect and tell us about it.

Books. Home decor, feng shui, natural eating, romance, erotica. There's nothing like flipping the pages of a book. Better than tv. Or sex. Or pavlova. Okay, I lie -- NOTHING is better than pavlova and sex. At the same time.

8. Last restaurant you ate at. Who were you with? How was it?

Stella's on Grant. With Mini. Their caesar salad is loaded with garlic and is simply perfection. I just have to make sure I don't have plans to neck with my hot husband -- or my pretend boyfriend Gerard Butler -- shortly afterward.

9. Who was the last person you bought a birthday card for?

My grandmother, who lives in Seattle, has dementia, and doesn't quite remember who I am. But she adores the pictures of my kids I enclose in her birthday card. Whoever those kids are.

10. What is your worst bad habit?

Spending too much money on Starbucks. Which is where I am right now. Dammit.

11. Name a magazine you subscribe to?

I don't subscribe to magazines, just a lot of online mailing lists of fitness/wellness blogs. They haven't really helped me. Clearly their fault, and not the fault of the carby loaf of bread I just ate. Of course.

12. Your favorite pizza toppings?

Cheese. Just cheese. Mini taught me the beauty of simple toppings. She's brilliant. Something she inherited from me naturally.

13. Whose number were you looking up the last time you used a phone book?

The number of the nearest pharmacy. Or was it the car doctor place? I don't remember.

14. Other than family, who is the person that you love most?

Other than family, eh? I'd have to say the person making my Starbucks iced green tea drink at the moment.

15. What is the last thing you cooked?

Pasta. For lunch. Because if I didn't make pasta for lunch, my son will think I don't love him. No, that's not true. Well, maybe a little. To him, pasta = "love", and broccoli = "mommy's trying to kill me".

16. Name something you wouldn't want to buy used?

A condom. Underwear. Toothbrush. Food.

17. Which shoe do you put on first?

This depends on (a) which foot I'm putting my weight on at the moment, (b) which shoe is the closest, and (c) which foot already has a sock on.

18. What is the last thing you remember losing?

My keys. I found them again after a whole afternoon of panicking and ultimately finding them in my bed sheets. I honestly don't know how they got there. No, it wasn't anything weird or perverted. I think.

19. What is the ugliest piece of furniture in your house?

The telephone stand in our bedroom. I'd rather set it on fire than keep it in my house. But Roomie might cry. I'm kidding.

20. Last thing you bought and ended up returning?

I don't remember. I think it was shower curtain rings. I was thinking of using them for purposes other than the curtain rod. $5 to the one who guesses correctly what the alternate purpose was.

21. What perfume/cologne do you wear? If none, why?

Fruits & Passions' Jasmine, usually layered onto my coconut lotion.

22. Your favorite board game?

Cranium.

23. What was the last board game you played?

Sorry.

24. Where did your vehicle come from?

We bought it from my manager at Nortel 12 years ago. He decided he was more "BMW" than "Tercel". Then he tried to buy it back a year later. Heh. No way.

25. If a movie was made about your life what would the theme song be?

Why does "It's Raining Men" keep echoing through my brain? I think "I am Woman" by Helen Reddy.

26. You're sad, who can cheer you up easily?

Roomie, my kids. And Mr. Gin & Tonic.

27. What was the color of the bridesmaid dresses of the last wedding you went to?

Champagne.

28. What house cleaning chore do you hate to do the most?

Washing floors. Especially behind the toilet.

29. What is your favorite way to eat chicken?

Orally, same as Adam. Also, in Butter Chicken form.

30. It is your birthday. You hope the cake is?

Not in the shape of Dora, Bakugan, or Pokemon. Or penis.

what would I do if I renew?

Fear not, my darlings, I'm still here! Thank you so much for the lovely 10th Anniversary wishes and greetings. So many of you lit up my FB wall and messages, my email, and Twitter. I was totally touched by your thoughtfulness.

As you know, my anniversary celebration was a blast! A calm, quiet blast -- of course. I tend to enjoy calm, quiet festivities these days. If I can stay at home in my comfy yoga pants, relax with my kids and Roomie, watch some sci-fi, and have someone cook yummy food for me, I'd be more than a little content.

Then I got to thinking... Considering how much I've mellowed over the years, what would my wedding be like now?

Things like Roomie's "I'm wearing a t-shirt to my wedding!" attire, my (according to my friend Sly) "naked" shoes, our mind-blowing invites designed by our friend Stephen, inheriting my in-laws' wedding rings, not having a wedding cake but a dessert table (which we never got to taste because all the cakes were eaten before we got to it!), and having our wedding in May likely wouldn't change, but some very key things would.

Inspired by this post by Martha B., I decided to visualize and compare my Original Wedding with what my wedding would be like now if I could do it all over again...

Then: local garden ceremony
Now: destination wedding (Austria)

Then: hair pinned up in a veil
Now: hair down in cascading waves

Then: custom wedding gown made by my friend's sister
Now: Nicole Miller

Then: country-style dinnerware
Now: exoticware

Then: silk roses
Now: real jasmine flowers

Then: hotel menu
Now: tapas & sushi

Then: large wedding
Now: small, intimate affair with only family who can fly
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