things that make me go 'hmm... I want to stab things'.

A lot of stuff's been driving me to run screaming to the hills to eat a whole wheel of cheese to stab things to write a rude letter to frown for many minutes lately, so when my darling and gorgeous friend Loukia wrote this post, I thought "great idea! I'll do that too!"
Then my other darling and gorgeous friend Adam did it too.

So, this is me, being a lemming...

+ People who let their dogs pee in my yard near, you know, where my kids made their snowman!  Jeebus people!  Kids play there!  Use the damn boulevard as you dog toilet!

+ People who think using "I" instead of "me" makes them sound proper. As in:
Skydiving was an exhilarating experience for Dave and I.

Well, doofus, you and Dave should stay the hell away from me because I now want to neck punch both of you back to Grade 8 Grammar class, where I learned how to use "I" and "me" properly!
Hint:  Take out the other person.  In our above example, take out "Dave and".  Now tell me, does...

Skydiving was an exhilarating experience for I.

... sound proper to you?  Um, NO.

+ Drivers who don't completely change lane, so their ass is still in your lane, then s...l...o...w... d...o...w...n... so you can't drive past them.

+ People who talk loudly on their phone in public. Really, lady, the kids having their swim lesson at the other end of the pool didn't hear about your plantar warts.

+ Speaking of cell phones, people who use them -- chatting or texting -- whilst driving.

+ People who tell me "Oh, you're not fat; you don't need to lose weight!" and think they're being nice.  I'm a 41-year-old adult.  I know my body enough to know what I weight when I'm healthy and what I weight when I'm not.  You may not have a family history of hypertension/high-blood-pressure, but I do and staying less fatty than I am now is CRUCIAL!
You want to be nice?  Be supportive.

+ Parents who don't discipline their kids... especially when their kid's being a little shit to others.

+ Being forced to repeat myself.  Especially when you asked the question.  Pay attention.

+ Couples who have joint Facebook/email/etc. accounts.  What?  Your spouse doesn't trust you?

+ People who look over my shoulder and read my laptop screen without my permission.

+ People who buy huge vehicles and act like they own the road.  And act all smug because they own the big freakin' ridiculous vehicle.  Dude, it won't make up for the tiny dick, okay?!

+ People who LOVE winter and consider you a wimp if you don't.  My husband included.  I'm totally with Loukia!  Humans arose from AFRICA.  We are meant to walk around naked.

+ People who don't read.  And are actually proud of it too.

+ Iron-clad packaging with twist-ties, tape, rigid plastic, etc.  Especially on Littlest Pet Shop toys.  Do you people really want my kid to play with your toy or not?!

+ Stores that don't open up a new checkout even when the only cashier open is serving an insanely long line, the person paying is counting out pennies, and other staff is just standing around "looking busy".

Okay, that's it for me.  How about you?

11 comments:

  1. LOVE THIS SO MUCH I want to kiss you!!!!!!!!
    And walk around naked with you! ;)

    Also: "Speaking of cell phones, people who use them -- chatting or texting -- whilst driving."

    I never do this... no, never... Okay, I lied. I do. I'm so bad. AND I've received 2 tickets for texting and driving in the same month, on the same road, by the same cop. $300 I'll never see again. Let's not talk about this anymore, or else I'm going to start drinking to take away the pain of what I could have done with that money! (I've learned my lesson, friend, don't worry.)

    I also can't stand people who don't read. It irritates the CRAP out of me.

    xoxo

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  2. I AGREE with you on the joint facebook/email accounts. I don't understand it in the slightest.

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  3. LOL. i love it!!! :-)

    I am one of those people that wants a "joint" fb account when I get married. Its not because I don't/won't trust my husband, but I guess I just hope that we will so insync so much that it will be easier for us. idk. i am crazy. i need to lay off the disney fairy tales. lol.

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  4. That was hilarious!

    Sadly I can't do this now, as most of it would just repeat what you said above!

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  5. I have to admit it. I'm seriously guilty of the "and I" thing What's worse I always ALWAYS miss it during the proof read- AAGH! DON'T NECK PUNCH ME!!! I'll stop. I promise.

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  6. Idiots who text and drive at the same time should have their license revoked. And talking on a cell phone and driving at the same time is barely any better.

    Share the video with someone you care about.

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  7. Joint Facebook accounts are stupid and obnoxious.

    I talk on the phone and drive all the time, but usually with a hands-free set.

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  8. Oh, the I and me thing irritates me, too! I am so going to have to make my own list.

    I used to work with someone whose family member was in a coma for YEARS before passing away because she was hit by someone who was texting. Just sayin', think about it, folks.

    TalkativeTaurus.com

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  9. I'm with you on the "I" and "me" thing. Also the misuse of "myself".

    I could never have a shared email address with hubby. that guy never deletes an email.

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  10. Came by from Canadian Moms - love you already ;)

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  11. I basically agree with you on everything!

    Wida
    Missing Amsie Blog

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