A lot of stuff's been driving me
to run screaming to the hills to eat a whole wheel of cheese to stab things to write a rude letter to frown for many minutes lately, so when my darling and gorgeous friend Loukia wrote this post, I thought "great idea! I'll do that too!"
Then my other darling and gorgeous friend Adam did it too.
So, this is me, being a lemming...
+ People who let their dogs pee in my yard near, you know, where my kids made their snowman! Jeebus people! Kids play there! Use the damn boulevard as you dog toilet!
+ People who think using "I" instead of "me" makes them sound proper. As in:
Well, doofus, you and Dave should stay the hell away from me because I now want to neck punch both of you back to Grade 8 Grammar class, where I learned how to use "I" and "me" properly!
Hint: Take out the other person. In our above example, take out "Dave and". Now tell me, does...
+ Drivers who don't completely change lane, so their ass is still in your lane, then s...l...o...w... d...o...w...n... so you can't drive past them.
+ People who talk loudly on their phone in public. Really, lady, the kids having their swim lesson at the other end of the pool didn't hear about your plantar warts.
+ Speaking of cell phones, people who use them -- chatting or texting -- whilst driving.
+ People who tell me "Oh, you're not fat; you don't need to lose weight!" and think they're being nice. I'm a 41-year-old adult. I know my body enough to know what I weight when I'm healthy and what I weight when I'm not. You may not have a family history of hypertension/high-blood-pressure, but I do and staying less fatty than I am now is CRUCIAL!
You want to be nice? Be supportive.
+ Parents who don't discipline their kids... especially when their kid's being a little shit to others.
+ Being forced to repeat myself. Especially when you asked the question. Pay attention.
+ Couples who have joint Facebook/email/etc. accounts. What? Your spouse doesn't trust you?
+ People who look over my shoulder and read my laptop screen without my permission.
+ People who buy huge vehicles and act like they own the road. And act all smug because they own the big freakin' ridiculous vehicle. Dude, it won't make up for the tiny dick, okay?!
+ People who LOVE winter and consider you a wimp if you don't. My husband included. I'm totally with Loukia! Humans arose from AFRICA. We are meant to walk around naked.
+ People who don't read. And are actually proud of it too.
+ Iron-clad packaging with twist-ties, tape, rigid plastic, etc. Especially on Littlest Pet Shop toys. Do you people really want my kid to play with your toy or not?!
+ Stores that don't open up a new checkout even when the only cashier open is serving an insanely long line, the person paying is counting out pennies, and other staff is just standing around "looking busy".
Okay, that's it for me. How about you?