A Special Announcement

Last Saturday, my girlfriends Harmzie, Myrtle, Glo, and I gathered at our fav sushi joint to eat raw stuff and blind all the cute young boys with all our undeniable hottiness.

Actually, we weren't sure if Glo was going to be joining us. Apparently, some of her coworkers had fooled her into going to see some male strippers later that night. She's so foolie. :)

But she made it, unable to ignore the siren call of the nigiri and maki and sashimi, and also because she had some news to share with us before running off to watch naked men shake their naughty bits...

Glo and Shawn -- the cute dude she's been living in sin with since time began -- are engaged!

To be honest, I never thought they would ever get hitched.

And of course, we all know who's to blame: Glo.

Really. She is that hard to pin down. I once overheard her say, "Meh, I'm already getting the Big One. Why buy the cow when you're getting the milk for free, right? hehehe..." Yeah, she actually said hehehe. Sheesh.

Now, I love Glo to bits. She's family. She was one of my bridesmaids. If Shawn's "Big One" was all she wanted, she's got my whole-hearted support, but did she really have to call him a cow? Or was she complaining that he had lactating man-boobs? Or was she saying he knew someone who could give them free milk? I don't know. Maybe I'm just confused.

Anyway, "Big One" or not, Glo couldn't have missed Shawn's tireless devotion.

Every night she'd come home covered in booze and mud -- did I mention she's a professional mud wrestler[1]? -- and Shawn was always there to hose her off, all the while wearing the frilly thong panties she demands he wear on such occasions.

Now, that's the kind of devotion told of in legend.

Of course, Glo is a smart girl and eventually came around. She realized what she had, saw past Shawn's foibles and oddities -- like his habit of painting his toenails chartreuse, wearing tights and cape, and going by the name "Velma" every second Thursday -- and decided to propose.

The proposal was spectacular. Actually, the fact that Glo didn't turn blue was spectacular. Who'da thought it would be so cold the night she decided to pop the question? Well, she didn't have to be naked. And on the roof of their house. But when she gets an idea in her head...

Then there were the noisy helicopters that kept circling overhead. Shawn kept yelling "Why are we on the roof? And why are you naked?!" over the noise whenever Glo would ask the question, so she'd have to ask again. And again. Then he kept trying to put a jacket on her -- she'd get mad, scream, and throw the jacket back at him.
It was like a scene from a really bad porno. Except with a little almost-blue naked person.
And helicopters.

Anyway, frostbite aside, Shawn said yes, and Glo now sports a beautiful jade & amethyst ring on her wedding nipple.
Sorry, did I say nipple? I mean finger.

A dream wedding in Hawai'i is planned as long as Glo can find someone to take her place at the "Horny Toads Bar & Mud-Wrestling Emporium".

Congratulations, my dear Glo! And congrats to you too, sweet Shawn -- see, I told you the Brazillian wax would do the trick! We love you, both! :)

Glo, stop groping Shawn

[1] - In all seriousness, Glo is a much loved daughter, cousin, and friend. She is a dental assistant, a Catholic school alumnus, and has been known to sing at church services. She would never call anyone or anything a cow, except maybe an actual cow.

6 comments:

  1. Glo sounds like all kinds of fun! I always get excited when people who've been together forever FINALLY get engaged. It's like "what took ya'll so long??" LOL!

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  2. I nearly choked on my coffee, that was so funny.
    Thanks, nen...
    Congrats to the cute couple.

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  3. And I really liked the story, too. Except you and I both know there's only one functioning helicopter in this city, and it's for traffic. So unless she was standing on the *highway* naked, she'd never have gotten that attention. ;-}

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  4. OMG you are so funny! "shake their naughty bits"! :D

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  5. They are adorable together! Please pass on my best wishes to Glo and Shawn!

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  6. Frilly thong panties! WHAT!!! :)

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