8 Skills Every Woman Should Master

15 May 2008

Apparently, Esquire's come up with this list of 75 Skills Every Man Should Master. I didn't know about this list; I learned about it from Maggie at Mighty Girl (I know, I know, yet another blog for you to get sucked into, but you'll love Maggie - she seriously rocks!). Anyway, she made her list of 7 Skills Every Woman Should Master. Here's my list of 8, because I like the number 8:

1: Jump-start a car. Change oil.

See?  My car works!  

2: Play poker.
If you find yourself in a room with a deck of cards and a dude/dudette you desire, a game of strip poker is the obvious next step. Be prepared!

3: Identify poisonous relationships, and end them.
I had a family member who expected blind-obedience. Didn't matter what it was. S/he would use all sorts of manipulation and emotional blackmail. I felt trapped, and my self-esteem plummeted. But I still didn't have the strength to break away.
It wasn't until I was an adult with my own family when I realized I was better off without this person in my life. I haven't looked back since.

4: Deliver a good punch.
Make a fist, thumb on the outside and curled along the knuckles. Aim with the middle-finger joint closest to the back of the hand, making a line with the wrist, elbow and shoulder. Deliver the punch from the shoulder blade and back. (I used to take Sikaran, a filipino martial art.)

5: Choose fruit and veggies at the peak or near-peak of ripeness.
Know when you want to eat your veggies or fruit, and know if it'll be ready when you are.

6: Help your partner give you an orgasm.
They won't be offended, and it turns them on too... or so I've been told. ;)

7: Take a good shower in under 5 minutes.
Multi-task and hit all the important parts first. If you still have a minute or two, maybe you can shave. Maybe.

8: Ask a really hot guy/gal out on a date.
Or maybe a game of strip poker.

13 comments - LEAVE YOURS HERE...:

Nicola said...

I can check off 6.5 of those! I never threw a punch at anyone and hope I never have to.... I'll be sure to keep your method in mind tho ;) I never had to jump start a car (I have the AA to do that for me!), but I could google it if I had to, flatmates car battery always runs flat so one of these days, very soon, I will be learning. I can change oil though... at least I know how to... again, I've paid someone to do that up til now.

Albert Bannatyne said...

Shower in under 5 minutes?

That's a challenge? For someone other than Chewbacca?


harmzie said...

I would say that #7 would provide the only real challenge for ME. And I'm no Chewie.

Although with certain stipulations, I would probably have issues with #8 as well. I don't think asking your *own* husband - or sig.ot. - out on a date or for a game of strip poker counts as a particularly skillful skill. If it does, you'd better jump back to #3.

I suppose it might require *great* skill to do #8 if you were married & asking a *different* hot guy! But then you'll (eventually) have bigger problems.

nenette@lifecandy.net said...

@harmzie -
... and you'd be doing #6 alone... :)

@albert -
This is the "8 Skills Every *WOMAN* Should Master"... you being a *MAN* may have already mastered that skill.

@nicole -
yeah, i'd rather pay someone to do that stuff too. :) and I hope you don't need to use #4 too... but it's a good skill to know anyway.

zandria said...

Great list! I agree. :)

sushi said...

argh! i'm in deep trouble then as i can do 2, 3 & 6 only!! haha!

Jami said...

Just call me grand-master, lol! I think I have these down, and I totally agree with them. I meet way too many chicas who can't deal with their own car, or reaching an OH for that matter. ;)
#3 was just this past year for me. I didnt realize it until it was too too late; but thankfully i did and all is well now. And I'm a much stronger person for it. It sounded a lot like your person. blind-obedience. Blah. Buh-bye suck-ah!

Yeah for #7. Save the waters! ;)

Anonymous said...

3/8 that isn't usually a good mark but I can live with this one!

1. I'm in my late 30's when this is needed I have provided enough for myself to financially to hire a tow truck.
2. Tried too once-didn't have fun never tried again.
3. I'm in my late 30's oh boy have I learned to do this!
4. Even though I grew up with two older brothers I punch- pardon the pun- like a girl. As I tell my son learn to use your words not your fists!
5. Growing up on a farm-this is natural.
7. Sorry don't see the need for this one at all!
8. This would cause a whole bunch of trouble around our house. Plus 18 years out of the dating scene who knows how to ask a guy out?


nenette@lifecandy.net said...

@zandria -
thanks! :)

@sushi -
take your time and you'll master them all. I'll be 40 next year, and I still have a couple of things to work on.

@jami -
...or should I say @grandmaster? ;) yeah, #3 was my toughest ever to master too... nice to get that person off your back, eh?... very liberating.

@lrm -
#1: yeah, but it's nice to be able to do it yourself in a pinch, right? :)
#4: yeah, but sometimes a girl just has to defend herself... but, if attacked, the first thing a girl should do is *get the hell outta there*!
#7: if your water heater dies, you need to adapt until the plumber/electrician fixes everything!
#8: geez, girlfriend, ERM could be the hot guy you can ask out on a date!... (I love calling him ERM! LOL)

Toni said...

Ha! Nice list! I have yet to accomplish some of them and I'm not saying which ones! :D

Jen Hill said...

This is a fabulous list, although I leave my oil changing to the guys at Jiffy Lube. Does knowing how to install a garbage disposal count for something?

Absolutely, every man needs a good sexual coach!

Anonymous said...

As usual, we women absolutely CANNOT live without a man, except when it comes to oil changes..?
Learn to play poker so you can use your sexual wiles to score a "hot" guy? Jesus. Grow up.

Also, if your life is so busy that you have to limit a shower to under 5 minutes, you need to straighten out your priorities.

No need to reply to this post, either...I won't be coming back to this page.

Nenette AM said...

I agree with anonymous that we women should NEVER use our "sexual wiles" to manipulate the object of our affection, whether they be guy or gal, hot or not...

However, I enjoy being a woman, and I enjoy how my husband's eyes light up when we "play".

Why does it have to be about men vs. women? Dependency? Inequality?

Oh, and my children come before long, frequent, water-wasting showers, so I think my priorities are pretty straight...
although I do have my "Calgon, take me away" moments. :)

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