I pack fat on my body in this order...
Usually when I get to "4:", aka Stay-Puft-Marshmallow-Man face, I'm feeling tired, sickly, uncomfortable, and foggy-brained on a daily basis.
And it sneaks up on me. I think I'm all hot and shit, then -- BAM! -- I look like I should be stomping down the streets of New York in my gigantic puffy feet to the sweet sound of Ray Parker Jr.
Anyway, that's the limit. That's when I know I have to stop, regroup, and do The Usual, ie. things I do to stop feeling like crap...
1: Cut out sugar, wheat products (breads, pasta, cakes, etc.) and other grains.
2: Cut out dairy (milk, cheese, etc.).
3: Drink water and green tea only.
4: Eat only 3 meals per day.
5: No snacking after dinner.
6: Eat more veggies and fruit.
7: Dance hula almost every day.
8: Do weights at least twice a week.
And way back in my 20s and 30s, all I had to do was "1:", and I was back to my hot awesome self in no time. You know, like this...
Sadly, these days, I have to do ALL those things, and it usually takes much longer to achieve goal thanks to my current health issues and, well, age.
Which freaks me out because I have to look all hot and goddess-y by June 4!!!
That, my dear friends, is the day of Mini's dance recital at the Centennial Concert Hall.
And, heaven help me, it's also the day that I will be dancing the *Mom & Me* number with Mini at the very same dance recital. At the same ginormous Centennial Concert Hall. In front of a bajillion people.
This is SO. NOT. GOOD.
Because kick my ass and call me soccer ball, I NOW look like this...
... which -- you can't deny it, people -- also looks frighteningly close to...