sabotage.

03 October 2009

Just a reminder that next week's Life Candy 2nd Blogoversary Extravaganza Week will feature an *Everything You Wanted To Know About Nenette* post. So, if you want to know something about me or want to know my thoughts on something, be sure to leave your questions in the comments here, or email me. Deadline October 6.

Okay, I turn 40 in just over a month, which means I have 4 weeks to meet all of my "Before I Turn 40" goals, which include run a marathon, learn Spanish, take singing lessons, have a portrait of myself painted... and...

... oh, yeah, wear a bikini at the beach.

Bahahaha! Wait, let me finish laughing before I go on... Ahem. Alright, I'm fine now.

Okay, that's NOT going to happen anytime soon. And not for the lack of trying, because I've tried, and tried, and tried!

I've fallen off the wagon so many times my ass is covered in gravel, horse-poop, and road kill. And do you have any idea how hard it is to wash that crap off?! It stays stuck on you, as a constant reminder of how much you look like Jabba the Hutt in Return of the Jedi, when he was too much of a fat bastard to walk on his own, and had to have his minions shuttle him everywhere. Yeah, like that!

I've gained about 20 lbs. since 2006, Halloween 2006 to be exact. Damn you, Kit Kat and Coffee Crisp "Minis", and your ability to deceive me with your tiny size and claims of "oh, I'm only 80 calories -- you can have as many of me as you want and stay teeny tiny :D"!

And that was just the beginning. Since then, there've been...

Starbucks' Mocha Frappucinos/Tim Horton's Iced Capps

When summer finally decided to come to town in September, this was the only thing that cooled me off. My usual favourite -- Iced Tall Light-Iced Green Tea Lemonade -- just didn't cut it.

This was sweet, tasty, and cool. And something I'm going to have to kill off drastically. Cold turkey. Gradual is not going to cut it.

FYI I actually prefer Iced Capps... made with CREAM! Take that, remaining cholesterol-free arteries!

The Cupcakery Cupcakes

I'm addicted. This last time I ended up with a dozen minis, a half-dozen regular, and a dozen day-old minis that we got for 25% and tasted JUST AS AWESOME!!!
But in all seriousness, I should just stick to the dozen fresh minis.
DAMMIT. Okay, a half dozen minis. And at least one of them has to be mocha.

Chocolate/Vanilla Swirl Soft Ice Cream

Ignore the cute little girl eyes at the bottom of the picture. I know, she's distracting. And she couldn't eat all of her ice cream. So I finished it for her.

We had this almost every day during our camping trip. They had a concession stand in a fort near the beach and campsites, so it was an easy walk over from our tent.
And now, I'm frickin' addicted.

Eating As Much As My Husband

I am not a 6' tall man who runs 5km twice a week. So, why do I constantly eat like one?
At our house, we have the "adult" portion size, and we have the "kids" portion size. Apparently, the "adult" size is enough to feed a tree.

If I want to be a slim 5'4" tall woman who practices yoga 2-3 times a week, I need to eat like a... well, YKWIM.

Treat Day

Frickin' day of enabling every single vice I have. It's the "eat whatever crap you want as long as you've eaten healthy the rest of the week" day. I usually end up ignoring the fact that I've eaten a few bad things the past week and eat whatever sugar I can get my hands on. Like this Skor bar, which I didn't really eat before until I had a Skor Blizzard at Dairy Queen.

Ya, it's like I'm a frickin' humming bird.

Grilled Cheese Sandwiches

Remember this? Rougie said this was food porn. And yes. Yes, she's right. It's making me want, people.
Frankly, I want to just take the sandwich in this picture and slather it all over myself. And I'm only a little bit kidding.

As soon as I finish this post, I'll be making myself one of these.

And that's happening... now.

Yes, folks, I got some work to do...

10 comments - LEAVE YOURS HERE...:

Haley-O said...

GAH! Starbucks. The ultimate diet killer. Pound putter-onner.

I can't believe you're going to be 40. Well, then, you're the ultimate postergirl for 40's the new 20. GO GIRL!

Michele said...

Hey Girl,
Thanks for your reply on MBC, what a great blog! I love it.
You are an amazing writer, seriously ~ not even kidding!

Thanks for the mid-afternoon chuckle.

Checked out the rest of your site, and it's awsome as well! I look forward to following along.

Michele
www.findingtrinity-michele.blogspot.com

kyooty said...

Have you seen my HASAY posts? been over to www.halfasgoodasyou.com and Club HASAY you need support from people that are working through this, you need less TREE work. Remember that job you hd where you worked your belly off working other people's Belly off? uh did that end in 2006? just saying... I'll support you, I'll come over and eat all that stuff for you and you wont be tempted by it. how's that? I'm going to make me an apple crisp now want some? I mean it's for the kids. yeah that's it for the kids

Su said...

Eating as much as the spouse is the killer for me! The man can put away a bag of chips at night and not have it show. *pfft*

But seriously girl, at 30, you were awesome. At 40, you will just ROCK.

Loukia said...

Sweetie, I have started and failed SO MANY diets in the last couple of years - nay - in the last dozen years that I can't even tell you! Atkins, Weight Watchers, etc. It's horrible and now I really need to get on the program and DO IT! I am not motivated, though... I hate that I'm not motivated!
Also? Chocolate is my weakness, too. I could snack all day long... I eat too much... and I will never give up my caramel macchiato from Starbucks... I just cannot!

Donn w/2nz said...

Forty schmorty!
Now that our life expectancy inexplicably drags on well past our "best before date" and into our mid-80s,
40 is the new 30ish.

Country Girl said...

Thanks Nen. Now I am craving a grilled cheese washed down with an SBUX Frap and a Skor bar and oh yeah...some cupcakes and soft serve for good measure. ACK. That said - you're still one hot mama....

wyliekat said...

I've truly found that any diet or approach to health that requires me to think MORE about food is destined to make me unsuccessful in the weight department.

Between that, catastrophic divorce and stomach surgery to fix my acid reflux . . . I somehow found a balance that I try very hard not to sway from. It contains all my must haves (i.e., coffee with cream and popcorn with butter- both daily events), and the rest of the unhealthy badness comes and goes in . . . cyclical . . . waves.

Between that and my walk home from work, I realize this is as much as I want to contribute to the balance between health and enjoyment, so I'd better be at peace with my resulting body.

This approach has been working pretty well for me. It has it's moments, but I'm way less stressed than I used to be.

Albert Bannatyne said...

Saw this comic this morning and thought of your Starbucks and Tim Horton's addictions...

And concerning eating as much as your husband... have you been weighing him regularly? Because a skinny six-footer could put on 10 or 15 or 20 pounds over many years without it being noticed by those who see him every day. If you haven't been tracking his weight, maybe you need to ask someone who only sees him every two or three years, to whom the change would be more apparent. :-)
But my point is --- maybe these adult size portions are having the same effect on him, but you don't notice it.

There's no way I could survive a weekly Treat Day without taking a serious hit to the waistline. Even with my superhuman willpower :-), the kryptonite of unrestricted high-calorie low-nutrition junk would do me in and I would have to embiggen my wardrobe to handle my larger self.

Nenette AM said...

@Haley-O: Thanks, my dear :)

@Michele: I'm so glad to have met you! Thanks for coming to read. I'm enjoying your blog too. :)

@Kyooty: Yeah, the hula thing... I'm having a hard time getting back into that. It's getting a little boring for me because I've been doing it for so many years. Anyway...
I'll check the site -- thanks, M.

@Su: Thanks so much, and yeah, Roomie can pack away a ton of food and not suffer the consequences.

@Loukia: Oh, yeah, motivation is lacking with me too! Since closing my hula school, I haven't done any physical activity consistently.

@Donn: It's not a matter of "I gotta do this before I die" -- It's more a matter of "If I don't give myself a deadline to do something, I'll just sit around on my couch and watch sci-fi and eat grilled cheese sandwiches all day."
And I expect to live to 120, btw. :)

@Country Girl: Heehee... sorry :) xo

@Wyliekat: I love your approach -- all in moderation and no deprivation. Unfortunately, if I even try moderation, I'll completely OD. This sugar thing is truly an addiction, and not a good thing since I was diagnosed with insulin resistance just before I had Lam.
I think I can hit a type of equilibrium in a few years.

@Albert: Oh, I wish he were gaining like me! As you know, he's already naturally slim, and whatever weight he puts on, he burns off really fast during his 2-3/week 5km-runs. And I know it's not all in my head because his siblings, who he sees 1-2 times per year, have been commenting that he's been looking less embiggened lately. :)

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